Surrender to Grief

Last brewed coffee

Rain poured on our evening, its mist touched my skin through my thin scarf hugging my chest. It was cold yet I was burning. The noise of rain hitting our roof deafen my hearing and only tears were flowing down to my chin as my eyes tightened.

Benedict, my husband, turned to my seat and stroked his hands to warm down my cold arms. " how long has it been since you've slept?" he pecked a kiss on my cheek to calm me down. I looked at him with my eyes trembling with fluid, filled with hopelessness. I nudge my cheek closer to his thumb when he wiped away my sorrow.

"You haven't been eating well, at least let me get you a hot coffee, okay honey?" his concerned eyes gazed mine. I closed my eyes and nodded my head down as he went ahead in the kitchen to brew me my favorite coffee. Fresh beans are crushed with the right pressure that fills our house with the smell of rich aromatic scent and creates an ambiance of relaxation.

The taps of his slippers on our wooden plank is heard getting closer, he reached the porch and took a seat near me. My hands were warmed by the mug he handed and there I realized my hands have been freezing. He smiled when I laughed at myself from not realizing sooner. My lips touched the rim of the mug as I sip slowly the hot coffee. My husband and I talked until my cup has gone cold.

Even when we both grew white and grey hair, he swiftly tucked some strands behind my ear. His touch was comforting and his voice was mellow to hear, I could fall into a deep sleep listening to his voice.

We both held our hands on the arms of a wooden rocking chair while my head rested on his chest. I could hear his breathing and his heartbeat. His presence by my side has always been consoling, through the good and bad times, his sweetness always caught me off guard.

"Sleep now, honey" his voice vibrated on my ears as I fall asleep while he gently placed his right hand on my head. I matched his breathing and I fell into slumber before I know it.

Sun shined on my face, I woke up from his chest and felt my back and shoulder stiffened. Getting old really does fragile my bones, I thought to myself to start the day.

Another casual morning for both of us came. Is what I thought.

His eyes were shut closed but his mouth was slightly open. I could feel his hands have gone cold, "Benedict?" My brows were up high with worry as I shake his shoulder. I collapsed when his hands dropped lifelessly from the armchair.