JG: What takes you so long to make an appearance always?
Me: Well apart from ruining papers and contributing to my share of increasing global warming, planning how to extinguish your useless existence without getting thrown into jail!
Reality check:...
It was almost an entire month since my boyfriend and I broke up. It was mutual and I was over the moon for finally being out of an extremely toxic relationship..😌😌 Coz even tho my ex was a good guy, lets just say he wasn't one when it came to relationships 😂
But for some reason, Id agreed to still remain friends with him🙄 -One of the worst decisions of my life👀💀
^~^~^~^~^~^ Damn this intro stuff is boring XD ~~~~~~~~~~~ Phew so..
One fine morning, I was finally able to drag myself out of bed...of course after smashing the snooze button on my alarm clock for the 19th time... Instead of the usual 20!!!!
Technically I really dnt remember what kinda day was, but as per the requirement of the chapter,lets consider it was fine XD
Things were crawling at a good pace, well, as much as they do usually,until my ex texted- " Rhi I knw, we r no longer a couple...but I wd really love it, if u made a painting for me again... Just like u used to... Think of it as an early bday gift :D"
Like seriously dude???!!!!!! U want a painting as an early bday gift from me???!!!! And how can giving something in March be considered an early bday gift...when the bday's in December???!!!!! Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I really ought to say no -_- But fuck my lame pathetic self I can't say no to such requests-_-
And this was how I came to making this 👇🙄😂
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Lmao When I say I didn't want to give this to him...I mean it😙😂
I mean I only ever make stuff for my boyfriend or that useless crap of a neighbour(mostly coz he wd simply take it away even if I refused😂)...and currently, my pathetic lump of an ex was neither🙄
Lol
^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Previously promised special feature~ BTS MOMENTS: Over text
~some of the actual texts are replaced by less embarrassing ones~
Useless Asshole May I speak with Her Highness, The Princess Of Zombieland?
You No, u may not.
Useless Asshole However, Princess I must..for it concerns the matters of the state ;)
You Her Majesty, the Princess, has given specific instructions not to disturb her for the next few hrs, for she is involved in matters wch requires her immediate attention..for she has been procrastinating it for more than 2 weeks😌
Useless Asshole Hilarious as always.
Useless Asshole May I please ask of her Majesty, what is this matter of urgent importance, wch causes her to neglect her Knight In Shining Armour? ;)
You You may. You Tho there is no knight in shining armour. You However there is a possibility of there being A Donkey with A Saddle😌
Useless Asshole Very well.So what is this matter of wch causes Her Majesty break the heart of her noble admirer when he comes to plead for her wisdom?;)
You Her Majesty, The Royal Princess is currently engaged in ruining a piece of paper, and wishes not to be disturbed.Her wisdom is invaluable no doubt on that😌
Useless Asshole Begging ur pardon ma'am, when will she finally be free to look after her loyal subject? ;)
You Her Highness prefers to use the term Useless Crap for that idiotic lame excuse for the person who sprayed popcorn all over her private suite last time he visited her -_-
Useless Asshole Her Royal Highness does not knw many colourful words,does she? ;)
You Her Majesty does not like being tested ;)
Useless Asshole Something definitely to be tried again ;)
Useless Asshole XD However, as per the wishes of his Princess,her Useless Crap hereby swears by all the choco-chip cookies of the world, he will clean up her Royal suite next time ;)
You -_- Her Majesty does not take swearing by her food lightly, and will block any Crap, Useless or otherwise, if he dares to do it again.
Useless Asshole Her Useless Crap hereby begs pardon for his extreme callous behavior ;) However he still begs for an attendance for it is extremely important.
You Her majesty is intrigued to knw abt this matter wch cannot be discussed through the window..and hereby grants permission to meet her in the next 5 minutes downstairs.
Useless Asshole May I also request her to bring her painting for her man to see it? ;)
You Her man? -_-
You She will :)
Useless Asshole XD
Useless Asshole May I also add, Her Highness has an unbelievable fetish for roleplay? ;)
You So says the man who taught her ;)
Useless Asshole ;)
^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Phewww!! Soanother chap up! XDXD
Lmao Wanna knw what happened downstairs with my painting? XD
Also when I tell u, I planned out this chap while sitting at the airport, amidst this corona pandemic 😨😨