Hikyuu!! Rarepair oneshots!!

Ryuunosuke's problem.

TW -//- description of abuse, blood, mention of suicide and homophobia.

It was happening again. Ryu sat huddled on his bathroom floor, blood dripping from his mouth, nose and ear where he father had tried and failed at ripping out some of his piercings for taking so long at the door with Yamamoto-Sama. Instead, he had only torn his skin and left the piercings hanging , clinging onto the skin, leaving him sat on the bathroom floor to fix it himself. 

He brought a hand up to his mouth, cupping it around his lips before finally crying, his chest rising and falling at an uneven pace as he brought a shaky hand up to his ear and felt at where the piercing had pulled at his skin, opening it up. Ryuunosuke gagged, the wet feeling of blood sending a chill down his spine, him touching the wound only making the pain worse.

He winced, having stayed sat on the floor crying for longer than he had wanted to, muffled sobs echoing the bathroom, not caring if anyone heard him- it's not like they cared about him. They never did. He was just here to grow the family tree, make their family name known, being the only son they had it was beyond expected and he knew it. 

Ryu held his breath, trying to calm himself down, the liquid still not stopping, still continuing to spill down his face, soaking into and staining his clothes along with the tiled floor. He coughed, blood splatting onto his hand, some of it managing to slip past onto the bathroom floor, painting it red.

Ryu sniffed as he tried to get his breath back, giving up almost immediately as he stood up on shaky legs, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head as he walked over to the sink and turned the tap on. He looked at the water that poured out of the tap, images of a cliff with a small patch of green grass on it flashing in his mind. A picnic blanket and basket, food spread out on it, obviously not as organized as he wished it could be, food on the actual blanket instead of the plates and napkins, two figures sat in each other's warm embrace in the centre of it all.

He sniffed, shoving his head under the tap to wash away the blood with as little contact as possible whilst he tried to ignore it, what he kept seeing, the two figures on the blanket by the cliff. He knew who they were, he knew what it was and he didn't want to see it. He'd seen and heard enough already- he didn't need this. He didn't need this constant torture of what could've happened, what they could've been. 

Because he already knew and he hated it. 

Hated how they could've been happy, that they could've had a life together- if only he had been more careful, if he hadn't been so selfish that day at the beach.
If he hadn't reacted the way he did to what Tsukkishima said, if he had just waited until they got back- his father wouldn't of found out.
It wouldn't of happened to him, he wouldn't of ran away, Cupcake wouldn't of been hurt and Moo wouldn't have been killed.
He would've been able to stay with Tora, in secret of course but it was better than not at all.
Kanoka wouldn't be needing to marry such a fuck up and maybe, just maybe, Tora would've been as happy as he were as well and their relationship could've soon turned into something else.

But no. It didn't and it couldn't. Because Ryuunosuke T̨͓̻̦ͩ̅ͬ̈ͅa̷̳̘̻ͦ̅n̢̩̰͍̼ͤa̴͉̭̠̫̦̪̺͌ͣ͑̏k̥͈ͥͪ̾͜a̶͍̗̥̖̜͕̦̎ was selfish.

He then looked up in the mirror, looking at the monster that was his reflection. He was the monster.  He tells himself and everyone that asks that what he's doing is for them, to make sure they're happy, safe. But it's not. It's so he can finally release it all. Release everyone from having such a burden in their lives, constantly dragging down and hurting them. It hurt, but he knew it was true. 

He grit his teeth again, tears starting to prick at his eyes again as he continued to stare at his reflection, watching as he taunted him, the bruises and scars reminding himself of all his failures- he couldn't take it. 

Ryu tightened his hands into a fist, yelling out as it made contact with the mirror, the glass breaking from the touch, a crater-like crack being the result of what he had done. He ignored the pain in his hand, the blood that started to pour out of the new wounds on his hand as he looked back up at the mirror, the cracks in the glass only making him look worse.

'What happened..?'

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This is just something from a roleplay I'm doing and since it's been a while since I posted I decided to put it here! If anyone would like/is interested in knowing more about what's gone on with Ryu and Tora then maybe I might write more on it? Maybe? I'm not sure, but it had some seriously triggering topics in it so- yeah. Anywho, thanks for reading!!

-Sam