One Direction's Keeper

Chapter nine - so much hate

RACHEL'S POV

I'd been in hospital for 3 days, and today I finally got to leave and go home.Perrie and Emily woke me up this morning, screaming in my ear about how excited they were that I could finally come home again. I didn't have to go under sedation this time thankfully, but it did mean I got to listen to the way Louis was when I was in hospital. He was constantly apologising to me about how it was his fault that I was back in hospital, that if he hadn't have made the others take me to the concert, then I would be at home right now.

I loved Louis to death, but I hated him when he was like this. No matter what I did or said, no matter how many times I said 'it's not! Don't worry!' he would carry on, which was just making me more and more stressed, making me even more ill. I hated the way he blamed himself for every little part of my illness. He had to stop thinking like that, and I have to help before I'm gone, or he'll never move on...

"you okay in there?" Perrie was stood to the side of me, folding up the last of my clothes and putting them into the bag

"hm, what? Sorry, yeah I am"

"no you're not, come on, what you thinking about?"

"nothing, seriously"

"oh come off it Rachel, you never stop thinking" it was true, I was constantly thinking about something. Perrie pushed the bag over, and sat down beside me, taking my hand in hers "you know you can tell me anything, right? I won't tell anyone, not even Zayn or Louis..."

"well, it's just, I don't know..."

"yeah you do, come on" she gave me a reassuring smile

"I'm scared-"

"well that's understandable! You're dying-"

"about Louis"

"you're scared of your boyfriend..?"

"no! God no! Not scared of him, I'm scared about him"

"what do you mean?"

"I mean, what's he gonna do when I'm gone? You've seen what he's like when I'm in here, he blames himself for every little bit of my illness, why does he have to do this to me, Perrie? I love how he cares for me so much, but what about when I'm not here? What if he dos something stupid?"

"he won't, babe listen to me. Louis will be fine, you have to stop bloody worrying all the time! You're just going to become even more ill, and we all don't want to see that happen. So grow a pair, and deal with the fun side of life!" Perrie was right, no point in being upset in the last few weeks before I die, even if she had said it in a tough love kind of way

"haha, okay! Thank you Perrie!" I threw myself into a hug with her, causing us to both fall back onto the bed

"vas happen-woah, look over here Lou, looks like your girl's trying to steal Perrie away from me"

"shut the fuck up Za-ow!" Perrie screamed as Zayn came and lay on us both

"aw, you know I'm kidding!"

"yeah, well, could you get off me please?!" Perrie squeaked out. Zayn got off, leaving me and Perrie gasping for air

"hey, I'm not that heavy!"

"trust me, you are!"

"oi!" Zayn yelled, pulling Perrie on to his lap and kissing her.

"where are the others?"

"oh, they're all down at the canteen. Emily came to get us, and just as we were leaving, Niall got in an argument with the old bint behind the till over how much change he got. Me and Lou got out of there before it became ugly" I began laughing till I saw Louis. He was sat in the chair, in the corner of the room, brow furrowed like he was deep in thought.