☆

band-aids

gabilliam breakup au </3

gabe's pov

Break-ups suck.

Especially when you're still madly in love with the person that ended it.

I know William was trying to what was right, in retrospect. We both have busy schedules. Sometimes I wouldn't see him for a week because I had to make a trip back to New York. Sometimes he'd be going on tour and I wasn't, so it's even longer before we'd see each-other.

Sometimes he'd think I was cheating cheating when I wasn't. And I would never.

"Gabe, I'm not entirely sure if we'll..work. I think you're moving too fast at times- and I'm not moving fast enough. When you're gone wherever for more than a week, I feel like you aren't thinking about me. It's scary."

"Then, what? Does this mean we're breaking up?"

"I'm afraid so."

After a few words that I still regret saying and a shove, I left.

I wanted to forget and pretend our mini fight never happened.

And when I want to forget, I drink.

When I want to drown out my feelings, I sleep with other people.

So I did.

I slept with others.

And lying in bed knowing I did that, I feel fucking awful.

I still have to fly back to Illinois so I can get my things from William's apartment.

It's been 2 weeks since our breakup, and he's called once on the night it happened. I ignored it, being too occupied with the random blonde I'd been fucking at 4 am.

I listened to his voicemail in the morning.

"Hello? Um. Oh. Gabe..? I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I don't want you to be mad. I just- I don't know. Please come back. I don't want you hurting yourself or doing anything you'd regret. I miss you. Come back and we can talk this out."

After listening to it and the way his voice cracked after every few words, I went to a bar and got drunk out of my mind.

I eventually flew back to Nyc with all that I had on me, and no other calls came. I wish he would call, because I don't know if I can listen to the voicemail he left over and over again.

I'm too afraid to speak to him, but I have to at some point. I mean, I'm going to have to pick up my stuff. Maybe I can do it in the morning when he's sleeping.

I set my phone down, his words ringing loudly in my ears. I just need to sleep the feeling off.

*

No matter who it is that I crawl into bed with, I can only think of William.

Their moans morph into his.

Holding their hips, I can only imagine William's.

I dig my fingers into their hair, and I can only imagine the brown silky waves falling between my fingers.

I can't seem to forget about him.

Even when I'm alone, he runs around in my mind. Memories replay along with his stupid fucking amazing voice.

I know it's unlikely, but I wonder if there's a chance we'll ever get back together.

Or maybe we're made for eachother, and this is just a test.