ADDICTED: NICOTINE

CHAPTER 22

AN: Hey guys, I'm sorry if this is a little off. I'm having the worst hangover cuz I went to a party last night and I practically slept in the whole day today. :D

But here's the update anyways. Love yall.

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Just like a dam breaking from too much water, Arthit's thoughts were spurted out in a form of a single question.

But the young man was now regretting his own words. He watched as his lover frown at his question. It's already out. He can never take it back, he thought in his head.

"Kongpob are you truly, and genuinely sure about us?"

The other couldn't seem to comprehend what was happening at the moment. He felt hurt because Arthit was doubting.

"Of course I am baby. W-why would you ask such a question?" pain evident in his voice. Were the last few days that they were together not enough for Arthit to see that he was willing to give the whole world for him if he asked for it?

"I-it's... nothing. I just wanted to ask." Arthit pulled out a tight lipped smile. Obviously forced. Kongpob wasn't at all satisfied with his answer. Was Arthit losing his love for him? Was he not enough anymore?

"Baby please tell me what's wrong. You're making me nervous."

"Kongpob, it's nothing. I promise. I just wanted to hear it from you."

"But baby.."

"I said nothing's wrong." Arthit stated in a firm tone and nearly slamming his hands at the table in front of them.

Kongpob was taken aback. What did he do wrong? He was hurt.

Arthit immediately realized what he haf done. His facial expression softened as he reached out to hold the others hands.

"I'm sorry Kongpob. I-i didn't mean it." the pale boy apologized but the other stayed silent. His eyes fixed on their hands. He was hurt.

Arthit was rethinking his decisions. He didn't mean to raise his voice at the other. He didn't mean to hurt him. He was just feeling stressed about the fact that they might not end up together at the end of the day. That he still had to go back to his caged life. That no matter what he does, he'll end up lonely and alone.

"Kongpob.."

"I understand." Arthit felt his heart ache when he saw Kongpob stand up from his chair and left the room. He just watched the love of his life leave through the door. He should've explained.

Arthit didn't notice the tears that were already streaming down his cheeks. He got up and went outside their room, hoping to find his man somewhere in the house. Calling out his name like a lost kid. When he got in the living room, he didn't find his lover but his friend rather.

"Arthit? What's wro-" Knot asked

"Where's Kongpob?" Arthit asked out of panic. He couldn't find Kongpob and he has gone around the house, garage and the lot of the villa but there was no sign of Kongpob.

"I don't know. Maybe he went out to the beach." Knot answered. He looked worried at his friend. Did they fight?  He thought in his head.

"Okay I'm gonna go look for him." Arthit was about to leave but his hand was held by a tight grasp. He hoped that when he turns around he would find his boyfriend. But what he saw was Knot's hand on his.

"Arthit I think you should let him be for a while."

Arthit stayed silent for a while, looking at the hand that gripped on his. He was confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyes now looking at his friend with a questioning look. Did Kongpob tell something to Knot?

"You guys fought didn't you?"

Arthit felt his heart turn heavy. It wasn't really a fight. But he did make Kongpob upset. So maybe it was. Since it seemed like his friend wasn't going to let him find his boyfriend, he sighed and nodded.

Knot saw that his friend had finally calmed down so he let go of his hand and asked him to sit. Which the other took half-heartedly.

"What happened?" Knot finally broke the silence.

Arthit sighed again and told his friend about all his doubts. All the things that ran around his head. All the excessive feelings and stress that made him feel anxious every time he was left alone.

He loved Kongpob all too much. He didn't mean to make the other upset. All he wanted was to ask if the other was sure about what they were having.

If the other was sure that he'd spend his life with him.

He wasn't even sure if he had a function in the world. He who was trapped inside the four corners of his room for years. He who wasn't given the chance to excel in life and find a job and earn money for himself. He who was arranged in a marriage he never wanted in the first place.

Kongpob tells him he had a plan for Arthit and that he wouldn't let the other get married a person who wasn't him. He had a plan to set Arthit free. But Arthit was scared. There was a plan but he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't know what his function was. Was he supposed to continue being a prince in distress? A Rapunzel who's supposed to wait for his hero's arrival to save him? Can he at least be given a sword to protect himself when the so called plan doesn't work?

Knot gives him a sympathetic look. He didn't know how he's supposed to console his friend. He didn't think he was in the right place to tell him everything was going to be fine. That things will go well in the end. Because who was he to tell such claims?

He wasn't in Arthit's place. So he did what he knew he can do. Place his hand on Arthit's back to caress it. To at least give some sort of comfort to the other. He listened to everything Arthit said. He waited through Arthit's sobs from time to time as he let his words fall out from his mouth.

"Do you want some water?" Knot asked his friend who was crying beside him. It hurted him. To see his friend in such sadness and anxiety.

Arthit only nodded. He wiped his tears and stared blankly at the coffee table in front of him as he waited for his friend.

Knot stood up from his seat and went his way through the hall. It wasn't far from the living room so it didn't take him long to get there. But what he didn't expect was to see Kongpob in the kitchen's terrace. Taking a smoke.

"Smoking is bad for your health." Knot stated as he went to the fridge to get some water for his friend.

"I know." the other only answered in a low tone before puffing on the flowing stick again.

"Arthit doesn't like smokers."

"I also know that." the tanned man answered plainly. Not even giving the other man a glance as he kwpt his eyes fixed on the ocean and the growing amount of grey clouds.

"Then why are you still doing it?" Knot asked. Placing the glass of water on the kitchen counter.

"I just needed a breather."

"What a dangerous choice of stress reliever." Knot went on to pour water on the glass.

"I heard everything."