Can't Let Go

sixteen

The mattress in her room wasn't as soft as the one in Arsalaan's room. Nor did the bedroom felt comfortable. It was like, she couldn't recognize this place at all. Of course, she wouldn't. But that's not the thing. Nothing in this room gave her a feeling of belonging. The curtains, pillows, wallpapers, lamp, even her dresses don't feel like she'd once owned all of this, let alone live with this.

Does memory loss do this? Make you feel uncomfortable in your own bedroom? But Malaika could swear that after all the self-discovery she did about herself in the past three months, this is not something which she'd call her bedroom. Nope, it was far from it. This feels like some random hotel room, which she was forced to say. Ironically that was the truth here. But besides it, this doesn't feel at home.

She didn't stay there for more than two nights after that accident. And to think that she has to stay here for a month is making her crazy. Why the hell is Arsalaan doing this to her? Not replying to her texts and calls. What is he trying to prove? Why did he leave her here in the first place? She was furious at him.

Holding the phone in her hands, she was staring at it continuously. Hoping that he'd call her back or even reply to her text. But he didn't. Which got her so mad that she smashed the phone on the wall, breaking it into pieces. She felt an ounce of regret which was soon replaced with anger.

"Ugh, Arsalaan. Why the hell do I miss you so much?" she huffed furiously whilst pulling the blankets over her head and shut the eyes close in the hopes of falling asleep. But sleep never came that night.

***

"I'm not hungry, Ammi." Malaika was in no mood for food that day. She hoped that maybe the next day she'd stop missing him too much but it was worse than yesterday.

"Stop being a baby, Malaika. Eat your breakfast quickly and have your tablets." Shahana added sternly, but Malaika paid no attention to her. She was still in her bed, buried in the blankets. Feeling like a zombie, for not having enough sleep. It never happened before.

"That's it now. You're scaring me." the chillness of winter washed over her body as the blanket was snatched away by her mother, making Malaika gasp in shock.

"Ammi," she whined at her mother whilst sitting straight.

"Good that you're awake, go and brush your teeth. Get bathed too, I'll get your breakfast to room itself." Shahana gave her a stern look, she groaned at that.

"I don't like my dresses here. Honestly though, did I buy those?" Malaika asked curiously and her mother looked quite taken aback by the question.

"No. You did not buy those. You're still so young, remember? Your dresses are all selected by me and your Tayi ammi." Shahana shrugged nonchalantly and only then realization hits upon her.

"Didn't I say no to it? I mean I should have, right? Everyone will have their own choices." Malaika frowned at that thought.

"Should it matter? As long as you have clothes to wear, I don't see what's the big deal in it." Shahana added casually which was yet another shocker for her.

"But?" her words were cut short as the stern look on her mother's face made Malaika huff dramatically as she walked into the bathroom.

"I'll eat at the dining table only. You don't have to bring it here, Ammi," she yelled from inside and began to brush her teeth with annoyance.

***

Inaya pep talked with herself for the nth time that day and when finally it felt like she was ready to go and face Zayn, she heaves a huge sigh of relief and walked towards his and Sara's room, where he basically spends all his nights. It didn't even hurt her anymore.