YouTube {Jeon Jungkook}

36.

When Jungkook started his YouTube channel long ago in high school, he didn't exactly realize the full effects of it. He just wanted to share his interests in games to others who, say, spent their money on more reasonable and profitable things and not games and therefore missed out on the experience. However, as his channel grew, he began to see comments, emails, and social media posts pop up explaining that he wasn't just a boy who didn't have an interest in being a lawyer or businessman but rather video games – he was an inspiration to many and a comfort for some. Jungkook felt so joyful when he'd read comments from people explaining how his videos always made them smile and feel better after a long day at work or school. He never thought that he'd be able to reach out to people like this, but now it's just another reason why he loves his job. But sometimes, he can't help but feel exhausted with the pressure he has weighing on his shoulders every day when he turns on his camera.

It was hard to be in the public all the time. You always had to smile and be happy, but what if Jungkook didn't want to be smiley and happy? What if he wanted to be sad? He had a perfect life, yes, but the pressure to always be an inspiration to his viewers and to be the comedic gamer that everyone expected him to be always got to him. Sometimes he felt like he wasn't enough or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but he could never let his viewers see how human he really was. From the moment he woke up, as he ate breakfast, and walked into his office, he would have to give himself a pep talk that if he just finished recording, he could edit where no one would have to see him.

That's why when you walked into the living room at noon to see your husband sitting on the couch watching TV, you thought maybe all the clocks on the house were wrong. He looked out of it and he certainly wasn't paying any attention to the show displayed on the screen that was teaching viewers how light bulbs were made – if it had any viewers, anyway. You pursed your lips and approached the couch quietly, hoping you weren't disturbing any new meditating routine he was starting. "Baby, are you not recording?"

Hearing you ask that made something burst inside Jungkook that made him tense. Even you were wrapped up in this odd happy persona he put on display for everyone. "N-No," he stammered. "Not today."

You placed a hand on his shoulder and sat down beside him. "Are you okay?"

His longer dark-colored locks swayed back and forth as he nodded. The hand on his shoulder left only to welcome a set of fingers to run through his hair gently. As you softly brushed his hair away from his face, you saw the deep frown etched onto his expression paired with a set of eyes that were red. You sighed and placed a hand on his lower back, rubbing small, comforting circles. "Jungkook, you know you can tell me anything. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he answered. Because, truly, there was nothing wrong. He was happy and didn't have anything to complain about, but he just felt an unbelievable amount of pressure weighing him down today. He didn't want to record and fake another smile – he just wanted to take a break and be a human for a minute. There was nothing wrong with wanting some time to yourself, right? He didn't think he was being selfish, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt like his absence was a jerk move.

"You really expect me to believe that?" you dead-panned, giving him a small smile. "What's up? Did someone beat you in Overwatch?"

You heard him exhale a short chuckle before he brought his knees up on the couch and hugged them to his body. "You know I love what I do, but sometimes I just want to take a break. I feel like one day, I'm going to mess up and disappoint everyone's expectations."

You jutted out your bottom lip in sympathy before leaning forward and resting your head on his shoulder. "Baby, you could never disappoint your viewers. They love you to bits and I'm sure they'd understand if you just took a break. You're a human just as much as anyone else and humans need breaks sometimes. You always used to get onto me for studying to the point where I'd be fried; do I need to get onto you for recording without taking the time off that you need?"

You felt bad. You knew that having a job in the public like this can be draining and exhausting in more ways than one. You couldn't stand seeing him so distraught over something he was so passionate about. The idea of taking a break, though, seemed out of the question to him and you didn't know how to get it through that thick skull of his that breaks are necessary. If his viewers couldn't understand that he needed some time off to focus on his personal health, then it wasn't Jungkook's fault. It wouldn't be his fault if they got angry and pressured him to come back, and you were prepared to get him to understand that.

"But if I just leave without letting them know, they'll be upset," Jungkook continued.

You shook your head. "You don't have to. At the most, just send out a tweet or something explaining that you just want to take some time to be with yourself. There's nothing wrong with that." You looped an arm through his and leaned your body against his. Your other hand grabbed his and intertwined his fingers with yours. Jungkook felt a reassuring squeeze and loosened his position, fully allowing your bodies to cuddle on the couch. He felt warm in your embrace and didn't want to leave anytime soon.

You two sat quietly for a while, the only sounds heard was from the show playing the TV that neither of you was paying attention to. You realized that you were getting sleepy as you and Jungkook sat beside each other and you yawned as you reached for the throw blanket draped over the couch behind you. You haphazardly threw it over your two bodies and Jungkook helped you straighten it out before he pushed himself to be in your embrace fully. You grinned and hugged him close, giving him a gentle kiss on the top of his head. "I love you, Jungkookie," you murmured.

"I love you, too, (Y/N)," he replied, his eyes closing as he prepared to take a nap in your arms.

"You know you don't have to pretend for me," you said softly, not wanting to disturb him too much. "Even if you get tired – mentally and physically – I'm always going to beside you every step of the way and be there for you. You got that?"

"I got it," he sighed before finally drifting off to sleep, letting go of the worries that had been bugging him all day.

I don't know if I'd be able to make it without you.

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these imagines always cheer me up and I hope they do the same for you <3 you got this, cherubs~