LOL Jokes(2nd books more funny...)

Chapter 16(Little Johnny)Rated R

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."The next day, he overheard his parents having it. He later asked what "D..." and "V....." mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats." At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut." A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your p...... and v....... -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

Teacher: Good morning class I have a couple of riddles to start off this morning. I have something here that's round red and good to eat? Sarah: an apple? Teacher: No it's a tomato but you're thinking. Teacher: I have something here that's yellow and odd shaped and good to eat? Michael: A banana? Teacher: No it's a pear but you're thinking. Little Johnny: Teacher, I have a riddle. Teacher: Okay Johnny tell us your riddle. Little Johnny: I have something in my pocket that's round, hard and has a head on it? Teacher: Johnny, you go see the principal right this instant. Little Johnny: It's a nail, but you're thinking.

Teacher asked : Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher : What Sign?
Johnny : The sign that says "School ahead go slow"

A/N: So how are my amazing readers? Im doing good. And I hope you guys are to :). Dont forget to Vote, Please.