LOL Jokes(2nd books more funny...)

Chapter 17(Senior LMAO RESTRICTED)

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on
this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for
six generations" He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. . ." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and
fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "SH*T!" said the Hypnotist. It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.(LMAO)

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Tum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. (10 years later), at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet up at. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Tum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also. (10 years later) at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Tum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free. (10 years later), at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Tum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator. (10 years later), at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Tum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves... "Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?" She said, "No?" "Well", he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again." And she didn't laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing. The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms.

A/N: ... Stay Awesome