Brother?

Chapter 21

I didn't know what to do. I just looked back and forth at them helplessly. I love Harry, and I love Josh but only as a friend. I can't do this, I grasp my head and curl up into a ball. The only thing I could hear was yelling, and I think what was Josh crying. It takes me back to what I was just teen. I had an amazing childhood. I grew up on a small island with tons of friends, I didn't have a dad but I didn't care.But it was when I was 12 when it started to go really down hill. I lived with my grandma and it was ok I guess. she lived in a small cabin in the middle of no where. Still on the small island I grew up on though. She had a work shop that had a little upstairs area with a bed so she slept there. My mum slept In the bedroom in the cabin and I slept in the living room. I was ok with it but there was zero privacy. A little whiles later my mums friend arranged a blind date with some pilot dude. it worked out he took us to places that would be cool to visit in Canada because I had no passport. we went to Quebec, Montreal and Toronto. It was fun seeing the places but he didn't want to do anything fun. that kinda killed the party. he was rich but barely spent a cent on us. After the trip, we all bought a house and moved in. it was not good, all fighting and all of that. We was a horrible person. He knew we had no money we stayed just because we needed a place to live. That was one of the lowest moments in my life. so sat in my room and juts drew suicide drawings. I wanted to cut, even though I could never do it. I know that it takes away pain and everything, but one my mum would find out and two I don't think I could ever physically do it. that's what I started to become really insecure and all that. A lot of friends in our life took the guys side when he kicked us out. We moved in under 2 weeks. I hated it. it was a time full of screaming crying and loss. He even called the police when we Weren't done and gone by the time we were supposed to. the cop gave us more time. I skipped a lot of school to help pack everything. my life had always been in boxes but now all I had out was a bag of clothes and my brand new iPad that I got a month before we moved for Christmas. yup he kicked us out right after Christmas. that's when I got into youtube I spent hours on there. they were the only people that could make me laugh. this is completely off topic. I start to come out of my flash back and I see Harry is gone and Josh is just on the bed crying. I don't cry much any more I just sit there silently and feel numb, I just don't think I have anymore tears left in me. so I don't start to cry at the sight of Josh. I go to sit next to him, he is laying on my bed in a ball.
"Please don't get near me, I don't want to do anything els wrong, just please, leave".
"Jos-
"Go". Josh demanded.
I go look for harry but he is no where to be seen. I go to Simons room, I had completely forgot about what he did. I decide to avoid him and re direct myself to Vikks room. we talk for a bit, about what went down.
"You really didn't hear anything? It echoed through the whole house and you were in the same room."
" I blocked it out and curled up in a ball". tears come to my eyes and Vikk wraps his arms around me. It was sure comforting. and wait, was I crying? This was the first time in a while.
"Im going for a walk see you later". I say to vikk leaving his warming arms and heading out the door not even with a sweater. I see a girl just laying in the grass looks like she is sleeping but I don't pay much attention to it. ( A/N haha Julia😜 that's all we will see u in the book😝😝😝)
Walking really helped me clear my thoughts. it was relaxing. I think about all that just went down. I wonder what made Josh cry. Vikk never told me.