I'm a Mermaid, Not a Merman

12

Danny hung onto the side of Lucy's pool, waving his tail gently beneath him. He felt the currents of the water flowing around him, and around the skirt of his swimsuit.

Once again, he'd felt very nervous coming to Lucy's house. Not nearly as much as last time, but this time he was anxious for a different reason. He was wearing the suit he'd picked out on Monday, and as soon as he'd put it on, the mental turmoil returned.

But when he'd come outside with it on, everyone complimented him on it, saying that it looked cute.

And... and he liked the way that made him feel. He wasn't sure why.

He settled back into the feeling of being Cindy again, and with it, came a feeling of calm. He wasn't acting anywhere near as crazy as he'd been the other day, but he was in a cheerful mood, and swimming with his tail was still just as fun.

But the thoughts nagged at his mind. Wearing his mermaid tail, and pretending to be Cindy, it was hard for him to fight those feelings. He liked it. And the fact that it had a pretty skirt on it made the Cindy part of him feel very cute.

He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but here in the safety of his friends, where he was Cindy, he let himself enjoy his girly swimsuit.

Liam swam up to him, and grasped the bars on the ladder out of the deep end.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Yeah," Danny smiled.

"Me too. I'm just glad that I'm exercising in the pool, instead of out in the heat."

"I know," Danny said. "I hear we're moving into a heat wave."

Liam laughed. "Perfect time to be a merman, or a mermaid."

"Exactly," Danny smiled.

Liam let out an exhale. His chest was heaving up and down. He'd been swimming just as hard as Danny.

"Hey Liam?" Danny asked.

"Yeah Cindy?"

"If you don't mind me asking, what got you so into mermaiding?"

"No, I don't mind," he smiled. "Reasonable question to ask that weird guy pretending to be a mythical creature."

"I don't think you're weird at all," Danny said. "I think you and Will are really cool."

"Thanks," he said. "I'll accept that we're cool, but it's cause' we're really weird."

"Maybe," Danny giggled.

Liam smiled. "I dunno if I can trace it exactly. I've always been into merpeople. My parents have humored my interest, but last year I finally convinced them to let me have a tail."

"Your parents know?"

"Yeah," he said, "kind of hard for me to keep it a secret, as I've got mermaid drawings all over the place."

"Really? That's awesome! So you like drawing then?"

"Yeah," Liam said. "I draw both traditional and digital art. If you ever want a mermaid self portrait of yourself, just give me a holler."

Danny giggled. "I just might need to."

"Most of my merfolk are Little Mermaid-esque. I like Disney's merfolk design. That's probably the biggest thing that led me to liking merfolk. I loved the movie when I was little. Easily my favorite Disney film."

"I loved it too," Danny said. "Strangely for me, I really liked the sequel. Have you seen it?"

"Of course," he laughed, "I consume every morsel of merfolk media I can obtain. I loved the TV show too. The character Urchin was amazing to little Liam. I thought it was so cool that there was a character who was a merboy."

"For me," Danny said, "I really loved Melody in the sequel. The movie... eh, could be better, but I always loved Melody. When I was little, I thought it was the coolest thing that she became a mermaid. From then on, I wished I could transform into a mermaid just like her."

Danny's daydreams appeared for a moment in his thoughts, then faded. He really had thought, as a little boy, that he wanted to became a mermaid like Melody. Not a merman, but a mermaid.

"I see you like her tail color," Liam said, looking down at Danny's tail.

"Yeah," Danny smiled. "At some point, I'd love to have a green tail for Ariel as well."

Liam smiled. "Personally, I think you look cuter in your red tail. I like how it looks with your swimsuit."

Danny blushed. "Thanks."

Liam. A guy. Had called him cute. Before, when he'd been called cute, it had always just been the girls. This was far, far different.

Unexpectedly, the same kind of feeling he was experiencing with his swimsuit passed through him. It... it was a feeling of enjoyment. He liked that Liam had called him cute.

Before he was able to think through what his brain was doing. He felt something else.

OoOohHhHhHh nNnOoOo......

No. No he couldn't really... it wasn't really...

He squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to deny the thought, but eventually it came.

I'm aroused.

He felt a slight pressure against the fabric of his suit.

It had been a while since Danny had felt it. Like all boys, there'd been times it just kind of... did it's own thing during puberty. But this... was... this was much different.

In the past few weeks so many things had been scaring him out of his mind. He'd been scared of being caught with his tail by his family. He'd been scared of being caught pretending to be a girl.

But he hadn't considered that the most terrifying thing in his life, turned out to be happening inside of him.

Danny hadn't really been aroused in a while, and when he had, he'd never gotten very... stiff. But maybe it was just random. Maybe it was nothing to worry about.

He glanced over at Liam. Liam had left Danny off by himself, and swam over to talk to some of the others. Danny was alone.

It went against many mental walls in his mind, but... he began thinking about Liam. He began thinking about his light brown hair, and his chocolate brown eyes...

And sure enough, Danny became aroused.

I'm attracted to a guy. I'm attracted to a GUY.

Danny felt himself tear up. He felt so distraught, that he couldn't really mentally block anything anymore.

He liked dressing like, and looking like a girl. And now... now he'd discovered that he was attracted to a guy. Thinking back, he couldn't think of any instance where he'd been aroused because of a girl.

In just over a week, Danny's entire image of who he was had collapsed. So many things had just... fallen upon him. Or had he been like this all along, and he'd just been afraid to acknowledge it?

The question was... how did he feel about this? He hadn't really confronted the fact that he liked wearing his girly swimsuit. What he'd just discovered made his head hurt.

Had he intentionally let Matt ask him out? Did he want to go out with him?

Danny's head hurt. He felt so confused, and he had no idea why. It felt like nothing made sense, and he was clueless on how to fix it.

He blinked away his tears, and dove under the water to clear his head. Getting up and moving helped a bit, but he still was wearing his mermaid tail, and his swimsuit. And as soon as he started thinking about that...

No. Just... just focus on swimming. Just concentrate on anything else.

He was going to endure Friday, and then he'd never think about this again. Eventually he'd be able to get his breasts removed, and then... then everything would be alright...

Wouldn't it?