Forever, Ginny

shatter

SELF HARM AND SUICIDE TALK IN THIS CHAPTER, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS IS TRIGGERING TO YOU

GINNY FIRST PERSON POV:

Harry had been acting weird for the past couple of days, not himself, Ginny noticed. He'd been going off by himself, never telling anyone where he's gone. Ginny supposed it was lessons with Dumbledore, or maybe studying with Hermione in the library. Ginny tried to not act jealous, but she couldn't help it.

She completely trusted Harry - there was just this sinking feeling in her stomach that told her there was something he wasn't telling her.

Whenever he's with her and he thinks that she's not looking, Harry's smile slips off his face, and he looks away to the floor, or to his hands, the scars that Umbridge gave him. The thing that Ginny noticed especially was the way his eyes were different recently. Instead of bright and glittering green eyes, they were dim, almost hazel in lack of excitement. It was odd, but when Ginny would look back, he'd plaster a smile on his face and laugh it off.

Ginny even had a nightmare that he and Hermione kissed and since regretted it, to embarrassed to tell Ginny. Ginny knew that it was an irrational thought and a unlikely turn of events, but Ginny kept thinking about it. She knew it was stupid, but when has anyone been able to control their thoughts? And the thing was, she couldn't go ask Hermione about it because she'd be hurt that Ginny even suspected it. And if she went to Ron, he would immediately go and punch Harry without fact checking.

She decided that she was going to try and talk to him, maybe get answers or have him open up - he might've been having a 'blue day or week' that Hermione told her about, and Ginny was just overreacting and misunderstanding the situation. She used to have 'blue days' a lot after her second year, but he'd mum and dad forced her to go to a wizarding psychiatrist and she'd talk for hours about what happened in her first year of Hogwarts, trying to come to terms with it. The psychiatrist even gave Ginny a potion, it got rid of the flashbacks if she took it everyday, and Ginny made sure she did. Eventually, she bettered, and she only had to take the potion every few weeks.

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One time during a blue day a few days prior to her current situation, Ginny recalled walking into the common room with Ron and Hermione talking worriedly. After Ginny got the information, she wanted to go and check up on her boyfriend, worried even after Ron assured her on his well-being. "Ginny, don't worry about it," He said, his eyes looking to Hermione uncertainly, "He's fine, it happens a lot!"

Ignoring him, Ginny sprinted up the dormitory staircase and quietly into the sixth year boy's dorm. She looked around and saw Harry sitting by the window, breeze blowing his hair out of his face. His black and messy hair was ruffled, and his eyes were bloodshot, from tears or alcohol, Ginny couldn't tell. The window was opened, the cool and harsh wind blowing through the dorm, and Ginny shivered. Harry didn't realize she entered at first, since she'd entered so gently. He seemed too immersed in his own thoughts to really pay attention to anything else. His eyes were sparkling with tears as he stared out onto the ground, and it almost seemed wrong to see the 'Strong Harry Potter' vulnerable like that. Before Ginny could say anything, her eyes landed on his arm, and she felt faint. 

There were small beads of blood trailing down his arm and around the back of his hand - it never touched the scar he'd gotten from Umbridge.

Once Ginny closed the door behind her, Harry jumped and instinctively shoved his sleeve over his arm and wiped away his tears. His eyes were horrified and ashamed as he took in Ginny's presence, "Oh, Ginny!" His voice was forcibly calm, and he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, I—Hi, erm...what's up?" He looked terribly embarrassed, and Ginny felt her breath constrict.