Forever, Ginny

ill miss her

HARRY POV:

Ever since the fight, and the dog had been let out of the cage, Ginny and I have been inseparable and neither of us are complaining. We have slept in the same bed every night since then, I think because we feel that if we don't, the other won't be there in the morning. Usually, she'll sneak up into the boys dormitories, slip into my bed, and out of habit, I'll wrap my arms around her waist, hugging her with my chest to her back, and we fall asleep that way.

So when I wake up in the morning, i tuck Ginny in a bit, pull my shirt on and some jeans, snatch my wand from my desk and close the curtains to my bed. Hopefully she wakes up before Ron, or he'll have my head on a platter, he's laid off a bit about our relationship, but I don't think he'll be very happy if he sees a sleeping Ginny in my bed.

I go down the stairs and look at the doors leading outside. I stare longingly out there, I need to get away, get away from this castle and leave myself to my own thoughts.

Get away from everything. everyone, and their questions and imploring minds. It's tiring sometimes, it's actually exhausting to have everyone's eyes on my back all the time, have their whispers and rumors float around me - most of them surrounding the Dark Arts. I need time to myself, to clear my thoughts, collect thoughts, organize them around my head. I need to be alone. I've always been a little solitary.

I walk out the great hall and out the large doors, stepping onto the mushy grass, stepping into puddles here and there. I spot Malfoy and his mates, but I ignore them. They look busy, and I roll my eyes at the ferrret. Somehow, I don't care as much for his antics or plottings as much as I did months ago. Whatever he's doing now seems trivial to what I now know I have to face.

Anyways, my mind is too full to pay them any mind. For once, I don't care what he's up to.

I'm busy too.

Thinking about next year, and how I have to give myself up, I'll have to die. I've sort of known for a while now, just never sat down and actually thought about it. Thinking things over usually makes things seem more real, not like a distant feeling that you can push away to deal with later. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't particularly like talking about my ever coming death. It's not that I want to die, because I dont - it's just hard to explain.

Dying.

It doesn't seem so scary when you realize that you've known your whole life that you're kind of a lamb set up for slaughter.

Although, maybe it's just me. I've always had a knack for finding myself in troublesome situations. Or they find me. Mostly the latter.

Ginny. Oh, my- I cannot express the amount of love I have for her. Usually I'm secluded and calm, but when I'm with her, I'm goofy, and affectionate. She makes me happy. She makes me feel alive.

I'll have to say goodbye to ginny, Ron and Hermione, and Fred, George, Mrs and Mr. Weasley. Dean and Seamus. Remus, Tonks and Professor Mcgonagall. Neville and Luna. All my friends.

All the people who have accepted and believed me. Always stood by my side. Put my pieces together when i'm broken. My makeshift family.

Will they miss me?
Will they cry about me?
Will they think of me?
Will they sigh one day, looking out the window and think, " Harry could've been here." ?

Maybe. Maybe they'll move on. I hope they do. I don't want them to dwell on me.

I can't bear thinking of leaving Ginny. leaving her behind. Her sweet laugh. A loud shout of glee. Her big brown eyes that look so much like a doe. Her long firey red hair. Her smile and the way she holds my hand, lets me put her hand in my pocket. Her perfect hugs, the way she fits perfectly into my body when we cuddle. Her forehead kisses. Oh, how I'll miss her. I love her. Remembering her before I go will be the hardest. Remembering the conversations we've had. How I would tell her I love her everyday, no matter the climate or situation. Like even when I told her about what I said to Snape, she turned the mood light and laughed with me.

" You said 'No need to call me sir, Professor?' In those exact words?" She'd asked in disbelief, laying atop of me, her arms wrapped around my neck and legs straddled on my waist like a fiery koala.

" Yup." She grinned at me, her eyes lit with glee as she laughed into my chest, her bright red hair draped across me and my pillow.

" Mr. Harry Sass Potter!"

" Don't call me that, please." I'd begged, my face red from embarrassment, which only further encouraged Ginny.

" Alright, Mr. Cheeky Potter."

" I think I prefer Mr. Harry Sass Potter, now."

I laugh at our fake arguments, and our teasings, everything sort of passing over me like a movie ending, all the credits rolling.

At least when I die, I was granted something as special as her.