Dear Diggory

chapter 51

Around 2am I was still awake, absorbed in my thoughts about Cedric. My anger had ebbed away and I now felt the deep sadness lodged in my heart from tonight's events.

The door creaked open and I could make out the girls' shadowed figures. They whispered goodnight to one another and quickly got ready for bed.

I heard Evelyn's mattress creak across from mine and I wondered if she was angry with me. I felt bad about what I'd said downstairs and she would leave tomorrow, I didn't want there to be animosity over Christmas break.

I waited for the sounds of Maisie and Dakota's shallow breaths before whispering.

"Evelyn, are you awake?"

I could hear her body stir as she appeared to twist towards me.

"Yeah, how come you're still up?"

"I couldn't sleep" I admitted glumly.

"Are you okay?"

I hesitated in answering this. I definitely wasn't okay, but what could she do about it?

"Not exactly. I'm sorry that I snapped at you about Cho, I was just frustrated with everything."

"It's okay, you were right anyway, I shouldn't have said those things. I just wanted to make you feel better about Cedric."

I sighed into the night air, "I know... I just wish he'd talk to me properly. I don't have the energy to figure it out anymore."

"I didn't want to say anything before... I mean it's between you guys..."

"What? What is it?" I pressed, she knew something important.

"Well Cedric does like you. As more than a friend." She clarified. "Max told me after Cedric told him. He urged him to tell you the truth but Cedric didn't think you'd feel the same."

I sighed heavily at this information. On the one hand I was thrilled, Cedric felt the same about me as I did about him.

But then reality came crashing in too quickly, crushing my hope. After the events of tonight would he even feel the same? And if he could never admit it what was the point?

"I'm happy about that but if he doesn't tell me himself then it's pointless."

"I know" she spoke glumly and I was glad she understood how I felt.

We said goodnight and I turned onto my side, but sleep didn't reach me for hours.

***

When I awoke, the light was flooding into the room harshly and I groaned as it burnt my retinas. I wanted to bury my head under my pillow and stay there all day, but I couldn't.

It was Sunday which meant everyone would be going home today. I rose from my bed and changed as the girls packed the last of their items into their bags.

They all promised to write over Christmas and gave me their last offers to join their families for the holidays. I thanked them all but declined, I didn't like to intrude on their celebrations and sometimes being around other people's family made me feel even lonelier.

You didn't feel that way around Cedric's family, my brain added but I ignored it in frustration.

We all hugged tightly and they said goodbye as they left the dorm.  It already felt eerily quiet without them and my mood darkened slightly.

I checked the clock; I knew Carlisle would have left by now so there was no point going to say goodbye to him. The only person who was likely to still be here was Draco, he was certainly in no rush to go home.