Those Who Stare Into the Sun

Chapter Ten: Aspiring

Two months later

I struggled for some time.

Donald Chapman was officially my manager, and he worked hard on getting me into auditions. He also hired people to create a webpage for me, got me into these cating call websites and sent me off to take hundreds of headshots. I never had any idea of how much it would cost me to become an actor. Everything rerquired money. And lots of it. My money ran out as soon as I had worked them together, and I had to start spend from my inheritance. At the same time, Archer lingered at my side to help me get gigs at some community theatres.

I had a really hard time keeping everything together with the job at the store. I started getting late all the time, since I had a hard time even getting up in the morning. My boss yelled at me several times, but it started to sound like nothing more than white noise to me. Eventually I had to quit. And eventually I had to tell Bonnie and Skye about all of it.

"You're an actress?" they said in a choir.

"No... not yet, anyway."

"But you've got a manager?"

"That's no big deal, really. Anyone can be a manager. But he has a lot of experience, so I trust he knows what he's doing"

"Why didn't you tell us?" Bonnie sounded a bit hurt.

"I really thought that it wouldn't become anything of this. I just ended up in this community theatre and things just set off from there. I didn't say anything because I was sort of... embaressed."

I told them about everything, from the beginning. And so they promised to try and help me. They would help me rehearse, Skye promised to try to get me in the paper where she worked if it ever would become relevant, and Bonnie would keep a lookout for people in the business at the pub.

~*~

I got turned down so many times, except for in the community theatre. It wasn't at all how I imagined it would be. Especially when I had such luck when I first met Archer. Then again, it was stupid of me to actually think that things would keep beeing easy.

I found this bench overlooking the Thames, not far from Tower Bridge, so I started going there at sundown to clear my thoughts when I had the chance. I usually cried as well. Thinking about my life in Sweden, my parents. And everything I'd left behind. I realized that I was scared. But these were the only times I allowed myself to feel that way.

Another week went by, and finally Donald got me in as an extra in this movie. It was definitely nothing big, but I would take what I could get. I would actually get paid, too. But again - definitely nothing big.

~*~

"So I gave Peter a call."

I was having a coffee with Donald. Our last meetings had not been very cheerful, since I wasn't doing very well.

"Oh" I said, and felt a little better. "How is he doing?"

"Good" Donald said shortly. "I asked him for a favor."

I looked at him.