Those Who Stare Into the Sun

Chapter Fifteen: After midnight

I stood down in the lobby - looking all guilty. Hoping to God that no one in the production would see me. And I of course desperately looked for a mirror for a chance to glam up before Cillian came down.

I was insanely nervous when I saw the elevator open and Cillian getting out, but as he ran towards me, grabbing my arm and laughing, I somewhat relaxed. He turned me around and helped me get my coat on.

"I got held up, up there. They wondered who's coat I was holding. I just didn't say anything and ran away."

We went outside and cautiously looked for photographers, but the coast seemed clear. Not far from the hotel, there were people everywhere. I had read that this event was somewhat insane. They had to arrange different sections for the viewers watching the fireworks, so if you bought a ticket for section A (for example) you could only move in that section, and you could then only use one of the subway stations for when you arrived and when you left.

"Come on, the fireworks are still going" Cillian said and grabbed my hand. Together we ran towards London Eye and the river. The air was cool and the ground was frozen and slippery. We made our way trough the group of people and got us a decent spot.

Down there you could see the thin coat of snow on the ground glittering beautifully. And up in the sky the fireworks kept blowing out these amazing colors. I could feel that firework-smell and suddenly went back in time, to when I had been a child.

"You celebrare this in Sweden as well, right?" Cillian asked, a little ironically.

"Yes, of course" I answered.

"You have any weird traditions?"

I shook my head. "No.. I don't think so at least. I've always loved new years. Everything about it. When I was a kid I used to be so excited for it the whole day, that I always fell asleep at eleven and missed the whole thing."

"No" Cillian said laughing. "That's kind of awful."

"It was okey— my mom and dad always saved some of the fireworks for the next day so I could see some of them then." 

Cillian smiled a sincere smile, like he thought I was all cute. "You're family's back in Sweden - you miss them?"

"My parentes died— but my sister's still there, yes. And my three half brothers as well, but I never had much contact with them so."

Okey, oversharing now Frost.

He seemed to be processing for a minute - or figuring out how he would tell me that he didn't give a rats arse about my privatelife.

"I'm sorry about your parents."

"Oh— it's okey!" I said quickly. "Let's talk about happy stuff. New years resolutions, for example. Have any?"

"No", he said and shook his head. "I'm actually kinda against that stuff."

"Oh—"

"— No, no, not like that. Just for me. I push myself too hard as it is."

"I can imagine you do" I laughed.

We switched between looking at each other and watching the fireworks.

"How about you?" he asked, and now faced me. Taking my hand again. We stood so close that the steam from our breaths touched in the icy cold air. "Got any new year resolutions?"

My eyes got stuck on his well-rounded lips for a second. "I haven't gotten to it yet. I'm so happy with where I am now so I don't really crave any changes. Just that I'll try keep on doing what I love, I guess. That I don't give up on my dreams."