My friend ran into you this morning and comes back to the house to tell me about it. You're my ex- so of course she's going to tell me about it. You're my news. I'd watch your monthly updates on the TV of you were a reoccurring info series. You're someone I told her about wanting to be friends with still-but that seems such a far off reach now. It was a good idea in my head but with no possible way of translating it off my lips.
How would we even talk after everything we've been through? I can't imagine. After you gave me third degree burns in an explosive, unforeseeable fire and how I smothered your flame the second time before you could even breath. There is forever going to be hot ash under our feet, smoke in the air and a longing burn in our hearts.
In total, she's talked to you three times, waved at you once. I'm not sure how long you both talked but being neighbors that meet every couple months (and have a strange friendship through me) it couldn't have been too long.
What gets me is that you mentioned that you had a girlfriend. I hear my roommate tell it to my other friend downstairs and although it ever-so-slightly pinches my heart-I kind of expected it. I've seen the pictures of her without the official title. Nonetheless, I preform the words I know I should say, "Good for him!" when she comes to tell me what I have overheard. And I feel the words I say, I feel the happy for you. You deserved someone who loved you and could accept your love. I just wasn't ready for it-I wasn't healed yet. Almost a year later and still I wouldn't be ready for it.
I just can't help but wonder if you still missed me like you did the second time around? Silently longing but without any action. Do I still cross your mind? Do you see my face in hers? It doesn't matter, you wouldn't do anything about your desires for me anyway.
I just don't understand why in a short conversation your relationship status came up. How? Why? Did you know I would find out. I would find out. I kind of liked not knowing.
YOU ARE READING
Limerence (Poetry)
Poetry"Bumblebee: I wonder if you will still love me when I protect myself and sting." Started: 8/20/20 Completed: 10/18/21 My 7th poetry book.
