Bad Boys Love Good Girls

Chapter 11 - The Failure

February 10th, 2015

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--{{CONNER}}--

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I don't think I've cried this much in my life.

        You got your girlfriend pregnant.

When I got home the night Caleb told me I walked straight to my room, ignoring my parents. I just broke down. Crying. Throwing things around my room. Like I was angry that I did it to her. That I most likely ruined her life. That I disgraced my mother, my father. That I was a failure. I punched my mirror, but before I could do it again, my Dad walked into my room.

He asked me if we'd broken up.

I said no.

He asked me if she was okay.

I said yes.

He asked me if she was pregnant.

And I broke down again, in tears and I'm so sorry's. Dad stayed silent, and it wasn't until I stopped crying 20 minutes later and my mother walked in to see the room a wreck and dads rms around me. I told her, and she cried.

I guess it doesn't seem very manly that I cried.

I don't know why I cried.

Happiness?

Sadness?

Anger?

Fear . . . ?

I'd stayed in my room the entire day and then the next three days afterward. My room hid me from the reality that lived outside. At least in here, I could pretend it was all just a stupid lie.

But its not.

I haven't told mum.

I haven't told dad.

        But they worked it out

I don't even think Scarlett knows that I know. Caleb wouldn't have said anything to her about our discussion. I haven't talked to anyone outside of my household in three days. Caleb tried to call a few times.

        I hope she doesn't know, that I know.

I would think to myself.

        Then she wouldn't think I was abandoning her.

                BUT YOU ARE

        AM NOT

                ARE TOO!!

My mind would do that to me, scream and say what i'm doing is wrong. What i'm doing is right. And back and forth until my brain can't handle it anymore.

        I don't know what to do.

K N O C K    K N O C K

"Piss off Clara!!" I yelled, my head buried in sheets.

K N O C K   K N O C K

"Clara! Go and annoy someone else!!" I heard the door open anyway. I felt too tired to move so I let whoever it was walk into my room. It wasn't until I felt familiar fingers carressing my back that my eyes snapped open.

        Ohh 

I turned over too see Scarlett staring at her fingers, that now made circles on my stomach. I felt guilty. Extremly guilty.