SCARS (Taehyung FF)

Always

Taehyung's POV

"She still hasn't agained her consciousness back." He muttered under his breath. "WHAT?!" I can't believe I let this happen to her again. I started removing my covers and the things keeping me attached to different machines. "What are you doing Taehyung!! You need complete rest!!" He exclaimed trying to push me back into the bed. "What am I doing?! What did you do Doctor? I trusted you. She's weak. She was hospitalized a month ago and you let her into a fucking surgery?! It was my problem I was dying why did you pull her down with me?! How is she gonna survive with one kidney?!" I yelled and cussed at him shoving him off of me and stepped on the floor.

I felt too weak to walk but I need to get to her. "You are you gonna do after getting to her Taehyung?! Just lay down for God's sake." He grabbed my arm. "If it needs you to put your hand through my flesh and put her kidney back to her body then you'll do it. You got it dortor?" I said through gritted teeth. He stepped back with pale skin. The nurse next to me didn't even dare say a word and put her hands back into her coat.

I grasped my abdomen where the cut was. It was hurting like hell as I walked out of the room. "Taehyung-ah..." Namjoon hyung was the first to notice me out. His face paler than I've ever seen. My mom came running towards me and stopped amd fell on the floor crying saying my name and my dad and sister came rushing to pick er up. My words were blocked in my throat seeing this. I lookrd around to see everyone of BTS, their eyes bloodshot red and face pale as wax. I've never seen them look so dreadful. Is this because of me? Because they thought I died? Did I really wake up from the dead?

"T-Taehyung-aaah." I heard Jimin cry. I looked at my left Ayu and Jimin standing in front of few reporters. He came running towards me. He was about to hug me but he stopped a few feet away. Maybe he's afraid he'll hurt me. I spread my arms with a forceful smile with my stinging body. He hugged me softly and started crying. I saw Ayu covering her face with her hand, cameras flashing behind her. "Where's she?" Was the first word that came out of my mouth.

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"She wasn't disgusted of me was she Ayu?" I mumbled as I looked at Y/N's limb body. "Of course not V." She said. "Was she disappointed?" I asked in a low tone. "She was scared. Afraid of losing you all along. Brave enough to give anything to bring you back V. So when she wakes up... Don't say anything like that. I know you might be feeling guilty. But try to put yourself in her shoes V. She can't live without the love of her life the way you can't." She said in a smooth voice. "How can you read my mind like that Ayu?" I asked as a tear dropped off my face. "I'm a psychology major." She chuckled.

I just want her to wake up and look at me with her mesmerizing eyes. I was so mad a while ago. But seeing everyone like that made me feel some kind of way. I should've thought how everyone was gonna feel if they get the news as a shock. But the other part of me knew there was no way I would've gotten a donor in my case even if I notified the world and let BTS down. I know it was selfish of me not to tell her just to make those few months the happiest of our lives.

But I still can't forgive myself for making her go through this again. Me sitting beside her hospital bed, holding her lifeless hand and she struggling with life. Can I ever make this up to her? I've done so many damages to her. So many scars on her body for me. I was the one saying not to cut herself. That I care about her body and soul. I promised I'll heal her soul and body. Mend her heart. But here I am. Giving her reasons to attempt suicide and go in a surgery and snatch her organ. No matter what Ayu says. I'll always be guilty of damaging her.

"Can you ever forgive me for damaging you like this Y/N? Will you be able to love me after you gave me a life?" I whispered, holding her hand tighter. "It's so nice to be still holding your hand right after I wake up." A faint voice shivered through my body. "Y/N-"