Phases (editing)

one

AN- chapter songs: Emerald Star by Lord Huron, Alien Blues by Vundabar, Flawless by The Neighbourhood

☽ ⋆ ☾

I've been bitter for some time, internalized of course. Being the person I am, I try my best to maintain hope. I never had friends. The ones I would consider being such, felt like bodyguards. Then when the sun turns into the moon, I am reminded how alone I am in the abyss of life.

Hogwarts was a place to escape the dark walls of a home built from performative love, but the darkness stuck to me in the form of a shadow. Romance seemed to be a myth and those who I attempted to fancy, felt like the wrong ends of a magnet. Not a day in my life would I have predicted, out of everyone, you would prove me wrong. The world I see now, because of you, is saturated with many colours I never noticed before. My only hope is that you come back to me. Please where did you go? You promised to stay with me, that you wouldn't become another stranger I shared memories with. Memories that would haunt me, leave me stripped and vacant in my own space. I fucking hate you Not as much as I want to love and protect you. You are the moon that guides me through the dark abyss. Now, I feel I have been hexed to a life stuck in a new moon.

Who did I wrong, so horribly, to lose the one person that made me want to wake up every day?

I spend my days attempting to mimic your touch. Then my nights, yearning for the faint sound of my name leaving your breath. I love you. There I finally fucking admitted it, now will you come back? So I may act accordingly.

☽ ⋆ ☾

1st September 1995

Waxing crescent

The trees and hills rushed past my glance as my head rested against the window of the carriage. Sitting alone, thinking back to my first year; remembering the leather of the sorting hat being placed upon my head. Words rushed through my mind, Begging and pleading for the house I'd dreamed of. Then, before I knew it, a breath of relief escaped my lips and spun up into a grin from ear to ear. My thoughts became a reality. From that moment forward, I was a Gryffindor.

The back of my hand slid to the cushion of the seat next to me. Unconsciously memorizing the texture of the fabric gliding against the pads of my fingertips. I let my body engulf the seat behind me, as I become eager to set my eyes on my second home, my friends, and-

"Aspen Lewis!" A voice sprung with joy as the door of the carriage opened. My neck twisted without a second to fail. A big-toothed smile and familiar hair that could fill a room. Comfort rushed over me. I jumped out of my seat to greet my good friend.

"Miss.Granger!" I said with relief as I embraced her. The familiar feel of my closest friend catapults me into a world of ease. "Come sit down, I want to hear all about your summer." My hands fold together and rest on my legs.

"No, I want to hear how you've been. You certainly have many thoughts and emotions you've been left alone with." She reassured me with a concerned face as she places her hands on mine.

The reminder makes my shoulders sink. The breakup of Aspen Lewis and Ronald Weasley had become the root of all gossip. It actually annoyed me where my peers' priorities landed. Yes, Lavander Brown, Ron is single, but let's talk about the events of the final Tri-Wizard tournament instead. Merlin, save me from another discussion of my short-lived relationship.

"I told you already in my last five letters. Ron and I weren't meant to work, and I am perfectly okay with that." I attempt to convince. Hermione just tilts her head wordlessly telling me that she doesn't believe my convictions. "Hermione, I am fine! I swear- Ron and I wrote to each other many times this summer. We both believe that we were meant to be friends. Nothing more. I wouldn't even be upset if he were to find someone new. I'd actually prefer it that way." With a genuine smirk, I lean back into my seat and begin enjoying myself.