Phases (editing)

nine

AN- Chapter songs: Dreaming of you by cigarettes after sex and Les by childish gambino

10th October 1995

Waxing Gibbous

Another night with sleep not present, my legs swung out from under the duvet and hung over the side of the four-poster. Each foot slipped into a slipper and I pulled a miscellaneous sweater over my pyjama top. Not bothering to pull the sleeves from my hands I rubbed my eyes in frustration.

I shouldn't be wasting this much sleep, over boys. I've slowly succumbed to the girls in the books I find annoying. I slip out of the tower and into the corridor. Ignoring the Fat Lady's attempts at making conversation with me, especially when she is prying about Malfoy. Letting my mind wander with thought, as I followed the path to the Astronomy Tower. Shifting my eyes around the walls and past the 'sleeping' ghosts.

Could I further my connection with Grant without limiting myself? Is Grant someone I view a long-term with? Am I even attracted to Grant?

The ladder is a yes. He was quite handsome, to be frank. He seemed to have lost a large sum of his boyish features, his face slowly revealing finer lines and a charming tone to his freckled skin. His eyes were blue but lacked depth and perception in them. Something hard to find in the opposite gender. The topics he chose to speak on didn't reflect well on his marks in school.

The night sky became apparent in my sight as I stalked the top of my midnight escape. The moon appeared full and clouds scattered the speckled abyss. I was too infatuated by the view to notice I wasn't alone.

A throat-clearing cough pulled me from my trance. I jumped slightly at the startling sound. "Did I scare you?" Malfoy taunted.

"Why is it the moment I want to be alone, you appear?" I drop my shoulders in defeat.

"Call it eh- intuition." He stepped closer. "Quite a show you put on this morning."

"What show are we talking about?" I roll my eyes. "I'm quite popular with the red knights as you call them."

"Thought you weren't engrossed by redheaded blokes anymore." The shadows danced over his face as he approached me. Even with the darkness consuming his features, I could still see those damned fucking eyes. The ones that would send me to purgatory one day.

"Thought you didn't care," I drawl.

"I don't." He took one final step to me, leaving only a foot of space.

I take his ignorance as an opportunity to tilt my head and make a show of it. "So, you don't care that I'll be at the match this weekend?"

"Depends who's name you'll be shouting." His words are silky and sinister.

How dare he jab me with his jealous remarks after the fool he made of me earlier today. If he'd just shown up in the library he would've gotten answers to why I'm still talking to Grant Page. Instead, we're back to walking around in circles until one of us hits a nerve. "You stood me up," I demanded. My intrusive thoughts deserve an explanation. He shifted his feet uncomfortably. The long-term silence told me he wasn't going to answer my question. I turn from him, breaking the close proximity, and trail over to the railing. "It shouldn't have happened." I look over my shoulder as I rest my elbows on the bar.

"You're right," he agrees, "Page is a freckled ginger. Awful picking on your part." He followed over and planted himself in the same position next to me on the railing.

"No, Grant is great. I enjoy being around him." I protest. "I'm not subjecting myself to any more damage to the relationships around me because of a boy that can't make up his mind. I deserve the boy that knows what he wants and is willing to take it. As of late, that would be Grant."