Phases (editing)

ten

AN- chapter songs: From now on by the features Hearing damage by Thom Yorke

11th October 1995

Full Moon

Grant repeated his routine from the previous day, took my books, followed me to my table like a golden retriever, and claimed the seat that was once Lavender's. All the while, filling my ears with Quidditch. It's mind-numbing how far he'll go to talk about Quidditch, comparing the fact I don't even play the damn sport. I found myself glancing at the blonde heir more than I should've in those ninety minutes. Grant noticing wasn't a concern due to the constant state of oblivion he manages.

How did he secure Ravenclaw?

Snape's potions class was one that made you feel the clock tick for ninety minutes, but today I couldn't bear to look at my watch to see only 2 minutes had passed. Grant attempted to hold my hand, but I dodged it by moving to pick up a quill, pretending I didn't even notice his motive.

I was about to fall asleep against my own palm before hearing the professor dismiss for the day. Closing with a reminder of the strict deadline for our projects.

My books and other utensils were packed neatly into my bag before I stood, turning to Grant to give some sort of goodbye. Then, he beat me to it. Innocently grabbing my hand, raising it to his lips without a second thought I respectfully yanked it back.

"Thank you, Grant." The words left guiltily fast. "But personally I am not one for public displays of affection." I felt my face warm. Then a blush of embarrassment painted his neck up to his jaw. "But thank you, I appreciate the gesture." I rushed away from the situation and into the corridor, feeling my stomach hollow and my collar beginning to tighten. Too busy in my own bubble to hear the footsteps trailing behind mine.

I'm not like this. I'm not the type of person to do what I'm doing to Grant. Let alone how disrespectful I am being to Draco. I bite down on my fist and take rapid breaths through my nostrils as a way to calm myself, but it's not working. I'm hurting so many people. I can't go on with this, but how am I to let Grant down without my friends questioning me? What about the next time Draco bruises my neck out of feral lust? I need Grant as the cover, but not without hurting both of them in the process.

My heart has never run this fast in my chest, I fear I am having a heart attack.

"Hey," A voice, painted with concern, spoke as hands came to hold my back and stomach. His face appeared around mine, stalling my movements. It was at this moment I felt how damp my cheeks were, and the weight my eyelids carried. He scanned our surroundings and led me into a desolate corridor. "What's happened? What did he do?" He demanded while whipping my cheeks with his thumbs.

"Nothing," I choked and my vision drowned with tears. "He didn't do anything." My arms felt heavy. "I- I am just overwhelmed, Draco." I struggled with the words choking out of my throat.

His lips parted as though to speak, but then only rose his hands to both my head and back, to pull me into a hug. His body cradled me, moulding to mine. I dropped my head to his shoulder as a river of regret fell from my eyes, choking on my own emotions. The tower built from the blocks of my life's stressors toppled, crushing me in the process. Whether he realizes it or not, Draco's recent presence in my life has been the only point in my day where the air felt clean, depleted of heat, and weight. Pollution.

He rubbed mindless patterns into my scalp with his thumb. His voice was soft, "Let me get you out of here, okay?"

I picked my head up from his shoulder and brought my hands to wipe at my eyes. Still held in his arms, I nod in approval.