Band and a Baby(Jalex Fic)

Chapter Nine: Sick

(A/N: For clarification here, I am not focused on all of the shows. I don't even want to try to mention each and every tour date, and quite frankly, it would get old. I might even skip a few months to get us moving forward, so I'm going to have them do Christmas shows, then the last of the 10 Year So Wrong, It's Right tour, because I just don't want to attempt to write out entire tours. I did it for these last chapters because of the progression of Alex and Jack's relationship, but now that it's heading in a stable place, I want to progress a bit more, so please don't come at me for not talking about any shows or tours that I'm missing haha)

In the time it took for Alex to glare at his notebook, Mason had woken up feeling a bit better, but still grumpy. I mean hey, you'd be pissed off if you had two sharp things stabbing their way through your gums and you couldn't form any words to talk about it, only cry.
Jack brought Mason into the back lounge and looked at Alex, "Whatcha doing?" He asked.
Alex closed the notebook and put it back on the table, "I don't know." He sighed.
"Writer's block?" He asked.
Alex shook his head, "Not so much writer's block as it is just not being able to think. I can't wrap my brain around any words that I want to say. I mean, Zack was right when he said I have a good premise for what I've written so far, but I don't know how to convey anything. Basically, I have a voice and a chorus, and the only thing I kind of like is the chorus so far. I'm so skeptical about the verse." He looked down.
"Well don't stress about it. Our label isn't demanding new songs, and we're taking a break in literally less than a month, we have off until December when we start a few Christmas shows, but those are all local to us, then we do the So Wrong tour, but the point is, we're free until December. So it'll be okay, Alex. You don't have to stress about writing anything right now. I mean we're still touring on Last Young Renegade, it's definitely not old news by far." 

Alex sighed, "I know, I know...I just feel like I'm not doing enough." He looked at Mason, who was just hanging out with Jack, chewing on his fingers and tugging on Jack's hair.
"You good with dada, Mase?" He asked.
Zack raised an eyebrow, "Since when is Jack dada?"
Alex shrugged, "Since now, since Rian said something about it and we decided that it was probably the right thing to do, since we've basically been together for 13 years, Jack's been a better parent to him than his mother, and he's also Mason's emergency contact, and we don't really plan on being idiots and trying to deny this whole relationship again, especially since I just outed us to the fans. So, now I guess." He answered matter of factly.
Zack nodded, "Cool. I can get behind that. It makes sense. In it's own weird, twisted sort of way." He laughed a little, "Fuck!" He yelled when he lost.
Jack laughed, "Way to go Zack." He sat down next to Alex and put Mason in between them. 
Mason looked around the back lounge and huffed an impatient little baby sigh.

"I bet we could find a park around here." Alex said, looking out the window of the bus now that the bus was parked in the back of the venue.
Jack nodded "Yeah, we probably could. Wanna go?" He asked, getting his phone out to search the map for parks.
"Yeah let me change him." Alex got up, picked Mason up and took him to the bunk. He laid Mason down and changed his diaper and put him in new clothes. It was warm out, so a light pair of little baby pants and a baby Blink 182 shirt that Zack's mom made for him. 

Jack walked over to Alex and Mason while Alex pulled a little grey beanie on his head and a little pair of shoes with soft soles, since he was still just crawling.
"Find one?" He asked, picking Mason up and grabbing his diaper bag.
Jack nodded, "Yeah, it's a block down. We can take his stroller if you want." 
"Yeah go get it. It's shoved in one of the corners of the back lounge. I'll be outside with him." He went to the tiny sort of kitchen but not kitchen and grabbed Mason an extra bottle just in case something happened to the one in there, and a water bottle to make a new bottle if need be.
He double checked the diaper bag to make sure there was enough formula, puffs, rice crackers, diapers, wipes and pacifiers. He closed the bag up and went outside to wait for Jack, "You wanna go to the park Mase?" He asked with a smile, Mase grinned back up at him and baby babbled at him, "Yeah? That sounds like fun to you? Are we gonna crawl in the grass?" Alex cooed at him. Mason giggled and let out a loud squeal. "Oh yeah? That's what you're gonna do while we're at the park? That sounds so much fun Mase." He kissed Mason's cheek.
Jack smiled at them when he got outside with the stroller. He popped it open and looked at Mason's excited face, "You've been pretty bored in that bus and just hanging around outside the venues huh? I'm sorry dude. We found you a fun park though, it even has some baby play things." He watched Alex strap Mason into the stroller, "You push or me?" He asked.
Alex shrugged, "You can I guess, dada." He smirked.
Jack shook his head, "That is gonna take a hot minute for me to get used to." He started pushing, looking at his phone to follow the GPS telling him where to go.

Alex stayed pretty quiet throughout the walk to the park, he was mostly looking around, appreciating everything that he saw and honestly, looking for any form of inspiration. He needed something. He wasn't feeling very grounded today. Good days and bad days, he supposed.
Jack stopped the stroller once they finally got there, putting the brakes on it in a nice spot of grass with a playground with a teeny tiny slide and some baby swings, obviously they'd have to push Mason on the swing, and help him down the slide, but it would be fun anyway.
Jack took Mason out and set him on the grass. Mason's eyes widened, feeling the grass between his fingers. He squealed and bashed his hands on the grass before wasting no time in crawling around, just squealing his little heart out.
Alex sat down on the grass next to Jack and laughed a little, "Go Mase!" He called, watching his son closely to make sure that he didn't go too far, of course. 
 
He put his arms behind him, propping him up and tilted his head up towards the sky with his eyes closed, feeling the breeze on his face felt good. He was starting to feel sick, but he chalked it up to anxiety and just wanting to be home.
"What are you thinking about?" Jack put his hand on Alex's thigh, keeping an eye on Mason, who was now plopped in the grass, pulling bits out.
"Everything I guess. I'm not gonna lie Jack, I'm really a bit done. I'm so just...In my head and I can't keep up. I need this tour to end. I need to go home and just slow myself down. I'm trying to balance too much and it's really fucking with me. I have constant headaches, I just want to sleep all the time, I worry about Mason being stuck on tour with us for months on end...I don't know. I just need to be in my own bed." He sighed, opening his eyes and looking at Jack.
"Soon, Lex. A week and a half, three of those are off days. We can manage." 
Alex shook his head, "It's not the shows, I love doing those. It's everything else that's the problem. I'd perform every single night if it meant I could just go home and relax afterwards. I just miss my bed." He squeezed his eyes shut, "I miss Mason not being able to be in his room with all of his toys, rather than sleeping in my bunk or in his playpen. I miss taking him to see your parents, and Rian's and Zack's. They're like the only grandparent type figures that he has, and I feel so bad that they've missed out on seeing him grow for months now...I mean they see on our posts and on facetime, but it's not enough." He took a deep breath and let it out, reaching up to wipe his eyes.
"Lex...Don't cry. A week and a half. That's all." Jack gave his thigh a little squeeze.
The end of tour was always a bit hard for them. They were so close to being done, yet so far from it, and so upset that they'd not be touring for a while. It was all too much to take in. Too many emotions. Wanting to go home, not wanting to go home, wanting to make more music but it being too soon to make more music, it was so much. 

"I'm not trying to cry or freak out or anything. I'm fine. I just want to be home though. It's time for Mason to be back in his own element again, where I'm making you those stupid chocolate chip pancakes and rolling my eyes at you telling me to not skimp out on the chocolate chips. I just want to be there. I want to shower in my own shower, sleep in my own bed, watch TV on my own couch, let my son freely crawl around the house, go in my pool with him, sit in my hot tub with you...I just want to be home Jack. And we're so close. We're fucking east coast right now, and it's literally killing me that I can't just go home." Alex said, his voice laced with fierceness as well as sadness, feeling a small wave of nausea. Anxiety. That was all.
Jack looked at him with a sad expression, "I know Alex, it's so much to handle. I get that. A week and a half. Just remember that. We'll get through it." 
They played with Mason at the park for a little, Alex letting it go and refusing to really talk anymore, which of course worried Jack, but Alex just wanted to keep his mouth shut, mostly because he was worried he might actually be sick. They pushed Mason on the swing, making him laugh, and holding him to slide him down the slide, which he absolutely loved, so they did that about half a million times before they finally made it back to the venue.

They set up for M&G, getting in the room to wait for their fans to come in.
Alex held Jack's hand, squeezing it a little. He'd be a complete liar if he said that he wasn't anxious, because he one hundred percent was, he felt it all over. Not because of meet and greet, they'd done that for so many years that it was second nature to all of them, but because he just really, really wanted to run out of this place, hop in a cab and go the fuck home. After everything that had happened, all he wanted to do was just be in a safe place. Not that the bus wasn't, it was his second home, but he wanted to be in his home. His and no one else's.