Dream Series 1: Irrevocably in Love With You

ILWY 12

Cassidy Elyse' POV

"You know what Elyse? Reject me in front of my face right now. I don't have time to play. I don't have time for an half assed love"

I knew it. Tinignan ko muna siya ng matagal bago magsalita.

"I'm sorry Zach. I'm been so vague. Kasi sa totoo lang pakiramdam ko naguguluhan ka lang. Naiinsecure ako. Naiinsecure ako kay Megan, sayo, hindi ko na alam."

"Fuck" napahilamos siya ng muka. Hinampas niya pa ang manibela.

"Megan is nothing, Elyse! I already told you we're done and I don't have plans to get back with her. I know, I'm asshole but I don't even sure if what I felt for her before is love. Because if it's love why it feels like it's always my first time when I'm with you?"

"Zach. Hindi ko alam gagawin. Gusto kita. Sa totoo lang I never felt so alive when I am with you. I never enjoyed studying when I'm with you. I never felt so happy and secured when I'm with you. Gustong gusto kong mag-take ng risk. Pero iniisip ko bat ako? Zach bat ako?" Sabi ko habang nakatitig sa kanya

"Bakit hindi ikaw?" At pinantayan niya ang titig ko.

"Zach hindi lang ikaw si Zach. Ikaw si Zachary Dane Lopez. I already know kung sino ka at saang pamilya ka nagmula. Zach si Cassidy lang ako. Walang wala akong maipagmamalaki. Iniisip ko gabi gabi bakit ako? Madaming iba diyan. Dahil lang ba naawa ka lang sakin? You feel like you want to play like a superhero for someone? Kasi Zach pagnag-take risk ako walang maiiwan sakin. Wala. Kaya kung pwede sa iba nalang? Yung pag iniwan mo may matitira sa kanya? Kasi ako I have nothing to offer. Everyone is better than me" hindi ko maiwasan mapaluha.

Naalala ko kung pano yung nangyari sa last relationship ko. Na kaya siguro nagcheat si Cyriel kasi wala akong nabigay sa kanya.

Na madali lang naman akong palitan. Na sino ba ako? Walang special sakin. Ang hirap isipin kung bakit niya nagawa yon. Anong mali sakin?

"If you're thinking about status? Well Fuck it! As if I care? Cas I mean Elyse bakit ikaw? To be honest? I don't know...

When I first saw you, you're a just a typical girl but I felt something wrong in my chest.  I don't know but every time you smile, I can't help but to smile too. It's ridiculous but I can't help it! When I heard about your story, I want to be with you in every step of the way...

When I saw you crying while you're praying, I want to hug you and to ease your pain. I don't know what happening to me. Everything is new to me. I never felt this before. You think it's easy for me? I can risk a lot of things but who cares?"

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. I never thought that Zach would say those things. He was never been the type of people who would tell you the details.

"Elyse, I don't know what's happening to me. I'm also clueless...please take me...." napabuntong hininga siya at umiwas ng tingin

"But I don't want you to choose me because of pressure." tumingin sakin na may malulungkot na mata.

He started the engine and begin to drive. He stopped to a convenience store to buy something. He pulled the engine in a familiar place.

Condo-building ni Sab. I'm pre-occupied kanina pa. Hindi ko nga alam pano ako nakarating sa tapat ng condo unit niya. He opened the door.