Greyson Brown (boyxboy)

Prolouge

Sitting in front of her grave, I couldn't believe it. Everyone else wasn't reluctant to leave, but I was.

She's my only best friend. The only person in this world I confided my secrets to.

"Here, Adrien." I heard my childhood bully, Greyson Brown, say to me. Turning around, he was offering me a drink. I wiped away the tears and took it.

He sat down a few feet away from me next to his best friend and Marie's boyfriend.

Ian Santiago, the boyfriend, still had bruises lingering across his face and as he sat down, he groaned in pain and held onto his abdomen.

We were silent as the sun set on the graveyard. We passed around the bottle.

I can't believe this.

Looking over at Greyson, he met my eyes.

The memories from just a couple nights ago lingered in my mind. I can still feel his lips on the nape of my neck and his hot and heavy hands across my body.

He didn't call me fat for once in his life. Since then, he's been avoiding me in a way. He's less mean. Especially when Marie got into the hospital two days ago.

Closing my eyes, I tried to forget. I need to. I can't go on with the memory constantly playing in my head. And maybe if I was the one to have gone with her, instead of being with-

No I can't.

Looking around, I knew she would want me to make more friends and to let people know the real me. But I can't.

I won't let it happen.

Why did you have to go?

And why did I have to fall in love with your brother?

You knew and you told me to go for it, but that was before you died. Does your opinion change? I hate him and you know this, why did you tell me to-

Shaking my head, I slowly stood up, but quickly had to lean against the railing of the stairs of the church.

Greyson looked over at me and sighed. Nodding his head, he saluted me goodbye as Ian cried into his chest.

I won't let her out of my heart. And I won't let anyone in, I can't.

It just hurts.

"Fuck!" I screamed hitting the brick wall on the way home. "Fuck! Fuck! Fucking shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

I screamed and fell to the ground with my bloody fist. Running my hands through my hair, I found myself crying.

I haven't cried since I told Marie that I had sex with her brother.

"Fuck!" I screamed looking up at the sky, why? Why? Why her?

Why did you kill her?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys! New year! New book! Well more like new month since COVID really got me producing more product than I have in the past few years.

Anyways, when I say I've been slowly catching feelings in such an unexpected way, I mean it.

So basically, my friend and I were joking around and saying who we wouldn't mind dating and I said that I would mind dating this one guy. We're gonna call him Liam (not his actual name, but).

So I told Liam that I lowkey like him. Long story short, he FaceTimed me confused because it sorta came out of nowhere and like rejected me. But I was fine with it because you know, you have to get used to rejection before you can find success.

Buttt instead of like him not talking to me anymore, the opposite happened! So we, along with like the friend from the beginning and another one of our mutual friends, were on FaceTime for like two hours and played Among Us for a bit.

And it was so fun.

So then in class, he called me out and volunteered me to present (which has never happened before) and I had turned my camera on for the first time ever.

Then later that day, he starts a convo with me about how I should present and me, being me, took the shy route. And he actually comforted me and I don't know, I started to catch actual feelings.

So then later I text him we should play among us and FaceTime again. Then, just in case, in added in "we can do a group or something" to make sure it's not too strong after he rejected me. But it's like he didn't see it because he told me when he's free and I told him when I was free and then later that night, he texts me.

That he got out of work and I'm like do you want to FaceTime? Because it's more fun to like hear them say things while playing among us. So we FaceTimed for a bit, then one round he was the imposter and killed me first!

But it was funny because he had asked where I was and I told him. And then he killed me and I was like "you killed me!" And he was like "what? No? I think you got the wrong person" and started to joke around and I laughed. And his voice was so deep over the phone, I'm not even sure how to describe it.

And then he was tired and said we should play again tomorrow. So feelings caught, I'm officially interested interested in this man past like physical attraction.

And pretext: we've done a project together and hung outside of school and I was really fun. And we've FaceTimed for projects, like the friend at the beginning, me and him were in this project together. Which is how we got to know each other and because of the project, he sat next to me for most of the year last year.

Anyways:

Even more shocking news, he had asked me yesterday if I knew who this singer was who released a new album and I didn't. And I had assumed it was rap, but it wasn't. I AM ACTUALLY LISTENING TO THE WHOLE ALBUM SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

Like who am I? I usually never do this. But like I'm happy I did, I really like the music. It's the same music I listen to.

Like the exact same. But that's it. And honestly best part of it:

He's taller than me.