Rhosyn: The Whispering Heart

CHAPTER 3: Dream

Dream...
Is it guidance?
Or is it a nightmare?

Dream...
If it is a guidance,
Please, show me the way.

Dream...
If it is a nightmare,
Please, make it go away.

...

Dream, what I meant by it is not something that you wanted to be someday. But, it is something that you visualise in your sleep. Either day or night. Dream, they always come. Perhaps, not every time. But, surely it comes by. It is a lie if you never dream in your lifetime. Either you remember it or not. It is still a dream. They said dream is just one of the evil doings. But, some said that it is guidance. I'm not sure. The only thing I'm sure of is this dream I kept having. The dream that I remember today. The dream that I'm afraid of it might become true. Yes, this dream that had been haunting me for several months now and it's regarding Harald. But, rather than calling it a dream. I would call it a nightmare to be precise. Because it has nothing beautiful in it.

The first dream I had was in the pitch black. I heard a voice. A voice of mine, calling out Harald's name frequently. Searching for him in fright. My heartbeat was fast, as I'm going to lose him any seconds. Then I opened my eyes and kept on calling his name. But I only saw the red sunset sky. But it was dark, dark as blood flowing everywhere. I ran through the stairs in front of me. Going down, reaching for Harald as I saw him with the other two girls. Again, I called for his name for the last time, shout as loud as I can until he finally looks at me. But, he got shot out of nowhere in front of my eyes before we can lock our gaze. The bullet came from the opposite side, it is in front of him to be sure. But far enough that I couldn't see anyone. I forced myself to run and get him, letting his head on my lap as I sat beside him. Only to hear he said a word. "please, take care of my fiancee". I chuckle a bit, my tears fell but I am smiling and looking at him in the eyes. searching for uncertainty. While his hand almost reached my face, it drooped and he froze there like a corpse. I'm not sure of this feeling. My heart broke as I woke up. But it somehow made me happy at the moment. I am happy that I could be with him until the end. But it hurts knowing that I'm late and couldn't save him.

After a few months, this nightmare comes again. Haunting my beauty sleep. Harald, he is actually one of the soldiers' trainee, and the date for him to go to the Annual Training Camp is getting closer. This nightmare made me worried for nothing. He can't actually die in training, right? I persuade myself that it will not happen. As I sat on my bed, Muriel soft voice come approaching me. Making sure that I am fine as she saw my pale face.

Muriel: Reya, are you okay?

Me: yes, I am fine.

Muriel: do you still got those nightmares again?

I kept my mouth shut for a second. Looking at her worrying face, seeking for an answer that may help in anyways. To alleviate her anxiety, I explained everything about my dream this time. Although I'm stuttering in composing my sentences, because of this sadness and frightening feeling.

Me: yes, but this time...it's kind of worse.

Muriel: why? Tell me.

Me: I dreamt of Harald [hesitating] die! Again [stuttering] I dreamt of him [hesitatibg] die! But [stuttering] it neither gets shot nor anything. It just [stuttering] his corpse [hesitating] lying down [hesitating] coming through my side. On a board that seemed [stuttering] to have wheels as its legs. But then [stutteribg] it stopped right in front of me. Burnt [hesitating] he burnt into ashes! The fire comes out of nowhere! How come he could die in a training? It just training, right? I'm not wrong, am I? He couldn't possibly die in a training, right?