Eddsworld x child!reader

Chapter 44

                                                                       everyone's POV

"....and before sex you NEED to make sure the boy has protection...not like you're going to have sex, EVER. Anyway, there's this thing called condoms that are very helpful though make sure they don't rip, or else they don't work. I personally use an extra-large..." "Tord please," Edd said while rubbing his temples. "Ok sorry, I went a little off-topic there. Anywho, they just slide on...a wang..." 

Matt held up a cucumber from the kitchen as a demonstration, "PLEASE." (y/n) begged. "NO!" Tom said back. "I don't want to know this," (y/n) said shielding her eyes so she didn't have to watch Matt putting a condom on a vegetable. "Then don't suck dick!" Tom shot back. "When have I ever sucked dick!" "I don't know but it's a delicacy!" Tord added.

The room was quiet, Tord shrugged. "What I'm not on the other end but I'm sure it is." Everyone groaned.  "Please, at night I hear porn echo the house," Tom said shooting a glance at (y/n). She gasped, "and you think that's me!?" "Oops my bad, that's probably me lol, my headset broke," Tord said with a devilish smirk while nudging Tom. 

"I literally hate you," Tom said emotionlessly. Tord sighed before coughing, "*cough* that's a lie *cough*" 

"Are we done yet?" (y/n) asked impatiently. "Should we put you on the pill? Yes or no? Because it's totally fine if you're into girls." Edd added sheepishly with a small genuine smile. "For the love of...I'm done! I'm going to go hang our with Noah." 

Tom's head whipped up, "no! No Noah! He's a bad influence!" (y/n) gasped, "nbkjehbrivhwhbivhbwr I BEG YOUR PARDON! He is my best friend! Might I add he returned the money! And he...he..." (y/n)'s gaze fell to the floor. "He risked it all just so he could duet with me because I didn't like my stupid partner, and then what happened? I throw it all back in his face not wanting to because I gained feelings for the gu...I MEAN...guns! I love guns!" 

"Woah hold up, what were you going to say?" Tord asked suspiciously. "Nothing!" (y/n) assured nervously. Tom nodded, "no no it was something, please, finish what you were going to say." "Eeep! SHE LIKES ALEC!!!! SCREEEEEEEE!" Matt squealed going a miny happy dance. 

"EW! No of course not! It's not like that!" (y/n) said angrily. "HOMECOMING IS ON FRIDAY!!!! HE ASKeD YOU DIDN'T YOU!" Matt screeched holding into Edd's arm playfully. "NO! Yes! Maybe?" "Ight, ima need some fresh bullets, maybe a harpoon gun." "Done and done," Tom said throwing a box of bullets at Tord and taking out a harpoon from absolutely nowhere. 

"I...what?" "You heard me," Tord said loading his guns. "Wait! I'll do anything! Even..."

Major time skip bigger than Tord's giant robot that doesn't exist in this alternate universe.

"I can't believe I let you do this." (y/n) grumbled from her seat in the back. She was smushed between Tom, Alec, and Tord. Tom and Tord both held very sharp knives in their hands and glared Alec down. Alec just stared forward trying not to make eye-contact, a bead of sweat trickled down his cheek. 

"Look at me I dare you," Tord taunted gliding his thumb along the blades sharp end. Alec slowly looked toward Tord who evilly smirked, "bad choice." He whispered raising the knife. "HEY HEY HEY! Don't kill my date! We've talked about this!" 

"You've talked about this..." Alec said with wide eyes turning to (y/n). "I will do it!" Tord said with his blade raised, "DO IT DO IT!" Tom cheered. "Please kill me now," (y/n) muttered holding her head in her hands. "No can do honey, the day you die will literally give us crippling depression, haha, oh hey we're here." Tord smiled getting out so the two teens could exit. 

"I think you need help," (y/n) hissed at Tord. Tord shrugged, "you wouldn't be the first." As the car drove off, (y/n) and Alec headed toward the school. "Homecoming," (y/n) sighed. "Whoooo...so fun." "Hey cheer up, your family isn't so bad, but the green dude needs to lose weight, maybe lift a but. The blue on is crazy just like the red. The red has mental health issues and needs to see a therapist stat. The pure is kinda dumb not gunna lie.." "HEY! Don't be mean to my family!" 

Alec shrugged, "hey chill chill I just call it like I see it." "(y/n)!" Noah's voice saved Alec from a world of pain. "Noah you're here!" *y/n) cried happily. They all wore fancy wear, (y/n) in her (f/c) dress, a personal fav of hers. Both boys could agree it worked wonders on her body. 

"Come on, let's go inside." Noah gestured toward the school feeling kinda hurt that (y/n) was Alec's date. Why couldn't he be her date? It really hurt but Noah tried to shake it off as they entered the building. 

The dance was kinda lame to say the least, people acted like complete crackheads which wasn't a first. Gen Z am I right?

That was until a slow song came on, and everyone froze and began to move to the beat. Noah glanced at his best friend who was pulling Alec onto the dance floor. It hurt but he let it happen.

Near the end of the song (y/n) chuckled at Alec who hadn't broken eye contact once. "What?" He asked smirking. "Haha it's just...I learned how to slow dance from my dad and papa, when I look at you right now all I see is papa Matty's face." "Oh really," Alec smirked. "well, we'll have to fix that." He began leaning closer to (y/n), her heart thumping a hundred miles per second. 

Her eyes twinkled in the light with wonder, was this going to be her first kiss? She didn't have to question another moment because Alec closed the space and to her surprise, it felt good.

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its been a while but I gotta keep the storyline going so I had to skip forward a bunch lol