Random thoughts

Confused.

You know when you feel so, so hurt over so many things and you think that nothing can get worse than this?
Well, it can.
At first, you're hurt by issues you can identify. Oh, this happened, that happened, and that's why it's painful. You know what's hurting you. But after a while, everything just gets thrown at you so fast you can't even pinpoint the cause of your pain. You feel the pain, but you don't know why. You feel alright, but you're hurting so bad. It's like every little factor just mashed up into one huge one and engulfed you in a world of confusion. No matter how you smile, no matter how you laugh, the pain is there, it lingers. It doesn't go away. It builds up. And you don't realise it until it strikes. Until it builds up to the point where you have no choice but to break. And then it starts all over again. You're numb, but it hurts. You're laughing, but it hurts. You're happy, but it hurts.
It hurts.
What hurts?
Everything, and nothing. Everyone, and no one. I just don't know anymore. I'm so confused. It hurts, but it doesn't. It doesn't hurt, but it does.
And when your friends ask "are you okay?" You don't even know how to answer. You can't even fake a smile and nod because you don't know if you are okay. You want to tell your friend, but there's nothing to tell. You want to let out your issues, but there are none.
You're okay.
You're not okay.
It hurts.
It doesn't.
It hurts.
It doesn't.
It hurts.