Vermillion

8

T/W: Eating disorder.

Circe sat in front of the plate of food, eyeing it warily. The rest had already started eating.

Tonight, Raffaele and Mario joined the four girls for dinner. It was carbonara and five of them were enjoying the Italian meal except one.

Circe was playing with her pasta with her fork, trying not to draw attention to herself. She would push it around her plate so if someone looked at it at different times, it would be in a different position.

It would go from looking half eaten, to one quarter eaten, to one third left.

Ilaria had noticed however.

Towards the end of the meal, she pushed all of the food onto one side of her plate, making the portion look as small as she could.

She left as soon as the maids started gathering their plates, not wanting to spend one more minute around the aroma of food and not wanting anybody to hear how loud her stomach was.

She was mad at herself for letting someone who was thousands of miles away have control over her.

But she had been away a few days. And that was nothing on the nineteen years she spent in Poland.

She had never been allowed to make a single decision for herself in her life.

After changing out of her dinner clothes and into something more comfortable, she sat on her bed. Staring at the wall ahead of her.

It was too early to sleep. Though she was tired, she could not sleep for another hour.

His rules were engrained in her brain, controlling her every move, clouding her every thought.

The only thing she had ever been able to control were her thoughts, and even though she could be free with them, she tried to control them.

It's what he would want.

She shook her head, ridding herself of the thought as she heard a knock on the door.

Ilaria walked into the room with a plate of pasta and salad, a knife and a fork.

"Sit" she commanded, motioning towards the chair in front of the vanity.

Circe stood up, walking over to the chair and taking a seat.

"Eat" she commanded again, but Circe shook her head.

"Why?" she asked "You haven't eaten a thing today"

"Can't. I'm not allowed" she mumbled the last bit.

"Bullshit. Right now, Raffaele is in charge of you and if he wasn't allowing you food, he wouldn't have ordered his maids to serve you"

Circe continued to shake her head.

"If you don't eat I'll get Raffaele" she said gravely.

Circe thought about the consequences of that in her head.

She wouldn't be breaking his rules. She wouldn't be committing a sin.

She wouldn't get punished.

But on the other side of it, her boss would see how weak she is. It would leave her embarrassed and make her look vulnerable.

Circe picked up the fork, piercing a piece of lettuce with the cutlery.

She took a deep breath before placing the food in her mouth. She closed her eyes as she chewed. The lettuce was flavourless and its texture was crunchy.