Nobody spoke about it.
He was completely certain that they all knew. Could tell just by the way they looked at him.
Actually they were all probably just shocked that he was still capable of walking. Although that diminished pretty quickly the moment he opened his fool mouth and croaked out his first hello.
"Shit, Hyung, I didn't think you were actually serious about that dropping to your knees and sucking him off thing." Unfortunately Hoseok did not know the meaning of being quiet or subtle, so every single person currently in the room with them heard it as well.
Unfortunately that included Jungkook, who was currently looking more smug than he had ever seen him.
"Did he make you call him - hey!" Thankfully Namjoon was literally three feet behind them - within precise striking distance to smack the shorter of the two in the back of the head.
"Will you please calm your entire horny ass down most of us don't want to know."
"Speak for yourself!" Jimin's voice rang out, and six sets of eyes all turned to stare at him at the same time.
"For the last time, Park Motherfucking Jimin -" His voice sounded something like a cross between a frog and one of those bass autotunes that Yoongi was so fond of. But he didn't really care at the moment. "- that -" He pointed at Jungkook as he spoke. "- is not. For. You. That is for me. So keep your greedy, slutty little eyes and paws off."
"I'm just looking!"
"Look. At. Taehyung. You. Godforsaken. Idiot." There was an emphasis put on each word, and he found himself taking the other by the shoulders and bodily moving him until he was once more facing in the others direction. "That is for you."
"But -"
"Okay, we're gonna take a quiz on this. Everyone ready?" All around them there was a series of deep groans, but he knew that they were all still going to come through. "What is not for any of you little rats?"
"Jungkook." Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung and even Yoongi all spoke in unison.
"I didn't hear one of you." His hands were on those little squishy mochi cheeks, pressing them together. "Who is not for any of you little rats but is especially not for Park Jimin?"
"Jungkook." It was said in Jimin's voice, but with the way his face was currently being held, it sounded much more like 'hungcook'.
"Good. Who is for you again?"
"Taehyung." Except it came out as 'Haygung'.
"Such a good boy. Hyung is so proud of you." Tilting the youngers head back, he pressed a kiss against his forehead - just as much to show affection towards Jimin after scolding him as to attempt to make Jungkook jealous with the action.
"Hey!" Sometimes he swore Taehyung was the only one out of the bunch who was even half intelligent. It never seemed like it, but he was always the one who picked up on everything. Always knew exactly what the other's were trying to do. Got the subtle little hints and knew how to react.
And hey maybe it was time Jimin got to see exactly what he had been doing this whole time.
"Where are my kisses, Hyung?" He pouted softly, until Seokjin was stepping around Jimin and coming up to plant a series of kisses all over his cheeks and nose.
"Aw, are you feeling left out, Taehyungie? You're always my best boy. So good for Hyungie." He could practically feel all of the air go out of the room. Mostly because Yoongi and Namjoon were both trying to keep from bursting out into laughter - while Hoseok was already curled up in the corner practically dying from it. While Jimin was looking like a mochi who just found out the rest of his family had been shipped off and eaten.
And Jungkook? Looked like he wanted to murder someone. Which meant that it had been a definite and certified success.
"Alright peasants. In case you all forgot, we have work to do." Namjoon still sounded like he was going to burst into a fit of wild laughter at any moment, his voice rising up and down as he tried to contain it. "Kook you get to cover Jin's parts, since apparently it's your fault his throat is currently out of commission."
"That's not all that's going to be out of commission when I'm through with him." Was this honestly better than the weirdness they had all endured before? It was hard to tell. But at least they were all talking to each other, and that was an improvement.
"Oh-kay, I did not need to know. Note to self, come up with excuses why Jin Hyung has to sit down all the time."
"Wait." Yoongi's voice finally broke through. "You're saying all this time I could have been sitting down if I had just let someone fuck me?"
"Just because you have the energy of a blade of grass and the personality of a rock does not mean you get a free pass, Hyung."
"That's not what I asked." This was it. This was the moment Namjoon finally gave up on them. Because he was currently sighing and rubbing his forehead with his fingertips.
"Yes, Hyung. That's all you would have to do."
"Great. So I'll be taking volunteers."
"I'll do it." Everyone's head practically dislocated from their shoulders as Taehyung spoke.
"Excuse me!" Jimin practically screeched, eyes going so wide they might actually fall out of his head.
"I mean, it makes sense. Kook can't do it because, you know, that's only for Jinnie Hyung. You can't do it because let's be real, Chim, you're the biggest bottom I've ever met. So that pretty much just leaves me or Namjoonie Hyung and in case none of you have noticed he's our token straight guy."
"Who's starting to regret not seeing if EXO had an open spot."
"You and me both." Hoseok sighed from his corner, where he was currently attempting to dust himself off.
"Well shit. Okay, maybe I was wrong. Yoongi -" He shifted, moving so he was standing behind Taehyung, lifting himself onto the tips of his toes so he could see over his shoulder. "This is for you. Have fun."
"I hate my life." It was a soft sound, and they all turned and watched as Jimin reached out and grabbed Jungkook, practically tugging him out of the room.
"You gonna go after them?" Yoongi asked, shaking his head slightly.
"Nope."
"Good call."
