Angel | Kanemoto Yoshinori

♡ four

Jaemi

I ran my hands on the paper with letters that are slightly carved out. I need to practice reading faster.

There was knocking on my door so I stopped and said, "come in."

The door opened and a familiar figure came in.

I smiled at her as she sat down beside me.

I miss seeing my mom's face.

I wonder how she looks like now that 11 years has passed since I last saw her face clearly.

Maybe there are small wrinkles in the sides of her lips now. Maybe in the sides of her eyes too. Maybe small creases started forming in her forehead too.

Besides, mom is already in her late 40s.

"Honey," she called out to me.

I hummed.

I felt her brush a few strands of hair away from my face. I feel her gaze piercing into me. She must be wanting to talk about my condition.

"How's your reading?" She asked.

I gave her a small smile. "Good. I'm getting faster and better."

I heard her chuckle softly.

"Would reading with your eyes make you feel more comfortable or no?" She asked.

I frowned and thought of what to say.

I know that she wants us to talk about it...

And honestly, I want to do it.

I want to do the surgery.

The feeling of determination in me is more dominant than the feeling of fear.

"Look... honey, the surgery, I..." mom cut herself off and sighed heavily.

"Its risky..." she whispered.

I reached for her blurred face and smile when I felt her skin. I gently caressed my mom's cheek to comfort her.

"I'm still young eomma," I said. "I can do it."

With both her hands she took my hand off her cheek and enveloped it in her warm palms. I then heard her sniffing.

"Eomma, don't cry..." I muttered.

I feel guilty making mom like this.

Once my eyes are better, I'll make sure mom won't ever cry like this again. She won't ever cry because of me again.

"Are you sure you can do it, honey?" She asked.

I nodded my head, trying to look as positive as I could.

It took her a few seconds before her sniffing stopped.

"I'll call Doctor Kim. Tell Yoshinori about this, okay?" I heard her say and then I felt the bed shift with her movements.

I then heard the door close and I figured that mom must have went out already, obviously.

I pressed my lips tightly as I fiddled with my fingers.

I don't know how to tell Yoshi about this. I don't even know if he will like my decision or not.

But this is for the best though. So they wouldn't have to worry about me anymore.

I know I'm strong.

Although I am physically weak, my mind and my will is strong.

After sighing, I reached for me and Yoshi's personal walkie talkie, because I can't use a phone since I can't see clearly. And with shaking hands, I held it beside my ear.

I do fear a very few things, and making Yoshinori sad, angry, or disappointed, is one of those fears.

"Jaemi," I heard him say through the walkie talkie. "How are you?"

I breathed heavily before speaking. "I... I have something to tell you."

"Go on, I'm listening." I heard him giggle afterwards.

"I... I've made my decision," I paused. "I'll get my eye surgery."

There was a string of silence from the other line and I know at that moment that he is feeling worried and scared.

"Look Yoshi, its not that bad---"

"What is your motive for the surgery anyway?" He cut me off by asking this in his serious and deep voice.

"You've got to be kidding me Yoshi..." I scoffed. "My motive?"

"Yeah."

"I want to see again!" I yelled, unconsciously bouncing in my bed with the stress building up inside me. "I want to see mom's face again, your face! And aside from that, I feel inhuman not being able to know what YouTube is... Twitter... or whatever people keep saying these days."

"That's all?" He snickered. "That is such an immature reason. You don't have to know those things to be human. You know you are perfect the way you are! I lo---"

"I am not perfect and you know that!" I yelled again, tears building up in my eyes. "You know well that I am way far from perfect, that I am way far from normal Yoshinori!"

"You don't understand what I me---"

"No, you're just not happy for me!" I yelled, clenching my chattering teeth as my hands started running cold and my. "Have you any idea how badly I want to see your face? What your eyes look like? What your lips and your nose would look like? It hurts not being able to see the one you love so much!"

Hearing the silence from the other line, I gasped and covered my mouth, dropping the walkie talkie on the floor accidentally.

I said too much... way too much!

Oh gosh, why am I messing up right now?

I shrieked when the walkie talkie sounded followed by Yoshi's voice. "Jaemi..."

Not thinking clearly, I rummaged through the floor for it and when I found its location I took it and crawled to where my cabinet is, throwing it inside and stuffing a bunch of clothes on top of it so I wouldn't hear his voice anymore.

I shouldn't have let that slip off my tongue.

How can I face him now?

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A/N: I know! Its been decades since I last updated here and I'm so sorry! T^T
I made this chapter longer as a token of my apology. I love you guys! Thank you fot supporting me so much and for loving my fanfics, it means so much to me! 💖💕