Sarah Paulson One Shot

first kiss

Mildred point of view.)

I'm parked in front of gwendolyn house, I've been looking for her for about 2 weeks. I'm worried but i also can't keep my feeling in anymore. I need to confess to her before it's to late. I finally found her and here i am getting out of my car walking to the door.

I knocked 3 times and in a matter of seconds the door open. She doesn't look so happy to see me standing in her doorway, i can't blame her.

"I was hoping we could talk." I said witha faint smile, hoping she will let me in.

She opens her door widely letting me in.
I look around her house and finally speak.

"You've checked out of the motel." I said looking at her.

"I tried to telephone you."

She speaks up. "The governor's fired me, Mildred." I could feel the disappointment and sadness in her voice.
I felt so bad. I had no one but me to blame.

"My career is over." She added, crossing her arms.

Then she said. "Im going home to Connecticut to live with my mother." She seems so serious and deeply hurt.

"Maybe i can get a job at the five-and-dime"
All i can is look at her as she speak to me.

"May i offer you some tea?" She said clearly sarcastically. But i didn't quir get it.

I hesitated but smile replying. "I would love some thank you." I feel nervous, i don't want her to hate me. Even if i know she already does.

But then she speaks again. "You lied to me fromt the very beginning." I cannot disagree with her. She is right.

"You used me as a way to keep your brother alive." That's not what i meant to do. I truly love her.

I stan up getting defensive. "I didn't lie to you" she shakes her head, not believing what I'm saying.

"I just- i couldn't tell you everything right away-" i walked toward but she instantly walk away.

And shoots "Mildred! You lied!" "Until the lie didn't serve you anymore." "Then you decided to tell the truth." I can already feel tears forming in my eyes as she speaks the truth.

"And i understand that the world has not been kind to you, and I'm sorry for that, i truly am. But that doesn't give you the right to dissemble at every possible opportunity to the people around you whose only mistake was to care about you." She is on the edge of crying. I hate seeing her hurt, why did i hurt her.

"I know that." I try getting closer to her, but she is getting even more defensive.

"Do you?" She shouted.
She walk backwards pointing at me as she shouts. "Because i honestly dont think that you do."

I finally rest my hand on her cheek saying thr words i really want to say. "My feelings for you are real." But she instantly take push my hand away.

"I don't think... that you have any idea what your feelings are, because you have  been lying for so long. It's second nature to you.
You even lie to yourself. Well your lying, and your selfishness  have cost me... everything.  I dont know what my life is anymore. I don't understand how i got so... tangled up in you, and i dont understand whether my feelings for you are real. And you waltzed into my heart, and i cannot get you out." She said full of pain and all emotions that were haunting her for while because of.. me yes me.

I'm so taken  aback by her words. Trying to process everything she is saying with pure honesty. Here, again, my eyes filling up with tears showing myself vulnerable.