Open Book

28. Pride

I have been thinking how on earth do we get into pride: since when?

One day while playing with some kids I observed some hints of pride emerging from them.  Our time together taught me a couple of things.  I can say form my point of view that we, the grownups, might influence this on them sometimes.  We jokingly say, “Try to build a Lego house and let us see who does it better!”  or “Who is the most beautiful among you two?”  We do this jokingly, but we encourage comparison and competition, and it emerges and grows little by little.  If it is not corrected at this tender age of four but is given a blind eye it will grow as they grow.    Thankfully, the parents of these kids are leading and teaching them to work as a team and to learn how to share.  That always bring comfort to the Lord and sooths hearts in this dark world.

Well, in my case during my kid-days some skills appeared and began to develop.  As I grew physically, beauty formed itself.  Looking back, I now see that with or without human compliments, skill and physical beauty puffs up, along with comparison regarding others “less” skillful and beautiful from one’s point of view.  Honestly did I know any better?  What can a kid know without being taught?  So, children do need guidance and sound discipline.  My parents did their job but even then, a parent cannot be always present.  They also cannot know everything that is going on in a reserved child’s little head. Yet what is hidden from the parents the Heavenly Father sees perfectly and is present in the kid’s conscience, whispering to that little heart.  The more a child grows the more he learns, both good and bad. 

A priest once told me, “You do not have to learn everything that is around the world.  You do not have to listen to everything, neither to look at everything.”  He said gently, “Imagine someone putting something in your hand while having your eyes closed, you do not just receive it right away, there is a certain discernment your hands go through.  Analyzing if that in your hand is a candy or a harmful thing.”  So, we should be palm open but discerning everything.  Keeping in touch with God and just not learn everything that is around for there are impurities and curiosities of this age that can be damaging. So, growing kids and teens must learn to properly discern because much is taught to us that is not really needed and leads to error both in thoughts and actions.

I am told that pride is the root of sin. Like poisonous pests literally on the roots of a plant slowly sucking the life out of it and making in incapable of bringing forth flowers.  There are many things that can grow in our inner garden, gained from bad sources.    Visualize it like this:

Fear are the parasites on the plant, gnawing it to the “bone” as we say.  Guilt is like the ultraviolet heat that scorches the leaves to a dead brown. Unbelief is a dull colored rose without any fragrance, while Shame prevents the crown of the flower from becoming strong.  Therefore, the beauty of the petals is truly short, quickly falling off.  With Scrupulosity the plants are consistently tossed to and fro by strong winds, so unbalanced in directions that they pull the roots, and the petals are torn off.  Rage is a black clouded storm with lightning bolts hitting and splitting trees or branches.  Preoccupation with self, is a dense mist setting in, clouding the vision.  Self-will causes the garden to lose its colorful life, making the leaves to fall melancholically like in sad animation movies.  Materialism feeds thorn bushes until they grow unto big trees, twisted and thick like a forest.

Much had been added in my garden while growing up.  Sometimes I think depressingly, “My garden must be in a very sad mess right now for I let so many storms to pass though it today.”  It makes me feel sorry for the Lord for He keeps cleaning up the mess I make so many times a day.  I struggle everyday even in the littlest things.  When I hear praises about something I have done, I notice that flattery is there. Even if it’s there for a tiny bit, that seed is dangerous.  I would rather be kept “clueless” with them praising God in their hearts instead of praising me.  Now, when I compare myself to how I was in my kid-days, I can see things have changed over time.  I do see growth even though I fall often.  I am more understanding of my own faults, so I do not exalt myself over others.  I rejoice over these revelations the Lord is giving me, for I would rather know them now and can work on them while I have the chance.  The blessed promise that the Lord is here and will never leave is such a comfort, and taking Him at His word gives me courage.

I am remined of Jesus’ words when He said He did not come into this world to be served, but to serve.  It is also said that whatever good one sees in a soul; that good thing originates and comes from the Father.  So, with all the enemies coming toward my garden I defend myself by grabbing these words tightly. 

“I did not come into this world to exalt myself; I was sent to serve just like Jesus.  He was endowed with gifts from head to toe and yet He used all those gifts for others.  I have been given skills to be used in servitude. Period.  Pride I have nothing to lose by refusing you entrance.”

A while ago Jesus said to me through a rhema, “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the learning of the learned, I will set aside.”  At first glance it might frighten a soul but look closely.  It can be rephrased like this; “I will destroy the worldly wisdom of the wise men of the world.  The worldly learning and teachings they have learned and taught I will set it aside.  For they are not for Me, but for the world and its constant denial towards My law of Love.”