Hi I'm Jordan. I'm 24 and I'm a professional football player for the Atlanta Falcons. I was born with a dick. Anyways let's get into the story.
I was walking by the town hall when I noticed an old friend looking upset.
"What's got Georgia's finest so upset?" I asked. "Bad driver's license photo? Trust me, it can't be worse than mine." I said offering her a tissue.
"Cute. But it'll take more than your disease tissue to clean up the mess I've made. Are you in the market?" Fallon asked as I sat next to her.
"For what?" I asked.
"The biggest payday of your life." Fallon said.
"I doubt you can match my NFL rates but do tell more." I said.
Timeskip
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I had been invited to Fallon's wedding. She'd asked me to play Sam's date but I didn't know who that was. I text Fallon and she told me to come up to her bedroom telling me where it is. I walked upstairs to be met with Fallon and a Latina.
"Sorry, to interrupt." I said standing in the doorway.
"No problem." Fallon said.
"I'm confused." Cristal said.
"Jordan is a key part in my plan. That's all that needs to be said." Fallon said to Cristal. Fallon turned to me.
"Sam is on his way with a tie." Fallon said straightening my jacket. A Latino guy walked in.
"Sam this is Jordan. Jordan this is Sam." Fallon said.
"Fallon, I asked you to find me a date not a supermodel. She's hot enough to make me straight." Sam said.
"I've been told I have that effect on people." I said.
"Sam, Jordan isn't straight. But you told me you didn't wanna go stag and Jordan asked me to hook her up with someone." Fallon said as Sam handed me the tie. I stood trying to do the tie up.
"You still can't do a tie 6 years later." Fallon said walking over to me and doing the tie up.
"I haven't worn a tie in six years." I said.
"Let's go get drinks." Sam said leading me out of the room. Sam and I walked downstairs and stood by the bar.
"So Fallon said you're her... assistant?" I asked Sam.
"Yeah. It's your classic slacker-boy meets girl-boss story. Technically, it's boy fell for girl's brother, boy's aunt married girl's father, then girl hired boy even though he ransacked her house and ruined Christmas... story." Sam said.
"Right on. Well, here's to those who wish us well and all the rest can go to..." I said.
