xxiii. trapped

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REINA'S POV

I'm broken. Or maybe it just feels like I am, I don't know. What I do know is I desperately need to keep a tight grasp of something or I'll slip away easily. Things haven't been easy recently, but I'm managing. I think. I hope it appears that way, at least.

I told work I'd be working from home for the week, and I told Liana's school that she'd be absent for two days for mental health purposes. They didn't necessarily like that excuse, but it isn't up to them, I'm her legal guardian so it's my call. I did what I felt was necessary for the two of us to get past the events of the weekend, which is lock ourselves inside and pretend the outside world didn't exist, even for just two days.

I found that despite my best efforts, Liana picked up on my coping mechanisms, which was just pretending nothing happened until finally, the feelings demand to be felt. I know she knew Mom showed up the very same day she left the house, and I know she knew I turned Mom away to let Liana make the decision herself. She didn't have to tell me, I can tell from the way she kept her cardigan wrapped tightly around herself like it was hugging her, and the way her finger twisted a curl around it to make her hand occupied. It wasn't until the night that she told me she knew, to which I told her I knew she knew, and that was the end of it. I heard her go into her room that night and blare music, a weak effort to drown out the sound of her crying that she didn't want me to be alerted of. But I left her because if she was anything like me, she only let a select few comfort her and you'd know for sure if she wanted you to be there.

Kinda like I did with Matthew.

He stuck around the whole night as I asked him to. I woke up the next day still wrapped in his arms, comforted by the scent I've grown too familiar with lately. Our morning was interrupted by a very persistent puppy who leaped on the bed, demanding attention at once. His plea was fulfilled as we both got out of bed and padded downstairs to make breakfast together. It was relatively silent that morning, the only sound being Charlie's soft panting and low yelps when he nudged against one of our legs.

I think Matthew was getting good at reading me now. Because I wasn't in a talking mood, not so soon, so he didn't talk at all. He did touch, which I was grateful for as it reminded me of his presence without breaking the silence in the room. The first break of silence came when he wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind, and a hum of delight slid from my lips before I could help it. But that was it. He left shortly after breakfast, giving both me and Liana a hug before he left.

The air in the room quickly shifted when he was gone, questions left unasked, and answers unspoken as Liana and I were left to our own devices. It's clear she's come to rely on Matthew just as much as I have, a fact I'm unsure whether comforts me or concerns me. But the loss of his presence was a new hurdle for the two of us to deal with.

Why Do You Love Me ── MATTHEW GRAY GUBLERWhere stories live. Discover now