Death is life

Chapter 23

We were at Target trying to find baby stuff. Nathan thought we wouldn't have any more babies so we sold all the bottles and toys and we had literally just gotten rid of the crib because Noah got to big for it.

I kept having thoughts in my head that the twins were gonna get bullied. I don't think I want to put up with that. I also don't know how we're going to get clothes for them because they're attached to each other. Nathan was going up and down the aisles trying to find stuff. While Noah and I were trying to catch up with him. He was pushing the cart and he would throw random baby stuff in it. It was really annoying! There was some random clothes, toys and more things in our cart.

"Nathan why are you getting clothes? We're having conjoined twins!" I say.

"Oh right what are we gonna do about that?" He asks.

"I don't know maybe we can talk to the doctor? Or look it up?" I suggest.

"Okay. But when you look it up don't use Yahoo or Bing." He says with disgust.

"I'll make sure I use google, Nathan." I tell him.

2 months later

Today we were going to get another ultrasound. We waited for 5 minutes before we saw the doctor. The doctor came to get and took us to the same room as before. She put the gel on my baby bump. She looked on the screen and paused. I was waiting for her to say something like they're looking really healthy or they've split apart and they aren't conjoined twins anymore. I wish I could see the screen so I knew what was taking her so long. I was already 5 months pregnant so it can't be that bad they couldn't have died. I looked it up and yes most twins die but it's almost always during the first trimester, three months.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news." the doctor warned. "I know most conjoined twins would die during the first three months, so I thought yours would be okay." right after she said that I knew what she meant. the doctor didn't even have to say the words. Me and Nathan start to cry. I just can't believe it. Nobody would understand what I feel like. I felt like I didn't belong in the world anymore. Noah saw that I was crying and he came over to me.
He said "Mama what wrong? Huggy?" I gave Noah a hug and told him about the twins with tears in my eyes.