Death is life

Chapter 27

So it was a month later since Nathan and I had sex. I didn't get my period so that must mean one thing. I'm pregnant. Before I start telling people I'm pregnant, I'm going to take a pregnancy test.

It came up positive. So, I booked an appointment for the ultrasound thing.

Later that week, I got in the car, put Noah in his carseat and drove off. At the place where I was going to get the ultrasound they told me they were running behind so it would be a while.

After about 2 hours of waiting we finally went to the room, where I would see my baby. Anyways, they put they cold weird gel on my belly. And started moving the little controller thing around. I hated this part. I don't like anything on my stomach. The kind doctor lady said I was pregnant for sure and to come back next month. At the third or fourth appointment we can find out the gender! I gave Nathan and Noah who was siting in the same chair as last time a huge smile. As you can tell I'm very happy about having another child, I really, really, hope it's a girl. I was also happy with a boy because they have no drama and shit like that. But a girl you can do so much with like having spa days, doing hair and makeup and nails.

Once we got in the car Nathan, Noah and I started discussing names for the baby. Noah suggested Batman. While Nathan suggested Amy and Aleisha. I suggested Ariana. I really liked Amy. We decided to what one Noah really like so we gave him the option of Amy, Aleisha and Ariana. It took him awhile to think about it. We kept repeating it. But he wanted to talk about Batman Legos.

He said, "Amy. Or Theo, I wanna brother!" I was happy with the one he picked for the girl and boy, I don't know how he came up with the boys name though. Nathan and I started talking about middle names for Amy. I wanted Amy Hadley Blond. Nathan wanted Amy May or Mary Blond. After awhile Nathan giving me all these reason to agree with him. He gave up and agreed with Mine. So it's official Amy Hadley Blond! We quickly decided that since when we had Noah he didn't get to pick a name Nathan got to pick the middle name for Theo. Nathan and I ended up choosing Theo James Blond if it was a boy.

3 months later

I was standing in front of my full length mirror. The baby bump is a little noticeable and it's at the stage where it looks like I over ate. I was wearing a tight red long sleeve shirt but I switched it for a loose floral blouse. I check a second time and it looks much better. Now I just need the seal of approval from Nathan and Noah.

Downstairs Noah is sitting on the couch watching Team Umizoomi. I walk into the kitchen to 1. find food and 2. find my husband. When I walk in Nathan checks me out and leans in to give me a quick kiss.

I pull away and order him, " Get me food, slave!" While I sit on the bar stool.

***

At the doctors they guide me to room 169! I try to hold in my laughter. Nathan fails and bursts out laughing which causes me to laugh.

"I have a silly mommy and daddy!" Noah giggles and laughs with us. Happy family moment! I wonder if baby is laughing. I lay down on the paper covered bed and lift up my blouse for the doctor. She rubs on the gel and puts the controller thing that transmits the image onto the screen, on my stomach. I see a black and white lump and think is that my baby?

The nurse points on the screen to where my baby is and I realize I had been staring at nothing important. She showed us the head and where they checked to see what gender it was and got us to guess. Well, I don't see a little penis so I'm assuming it's a girl.

"On the count of three say your guess!" The doctor says. "1, 2, 3!" I yell out girl while Nathan yells out boy, Noah just says batman.

"Nathan!? Where do you see a dick on the picture?" He points at a blob far away from where the nurse told us to look. I pinch the bridge of my nose. I can't believe this is who I fell in love with! The nurse smiles at us, probably thinking something along the lines of young love.

The doctor looks at us and announces, "Analy was right! you guys are having a baby girl!"

6 1/2 months later

Nathan was finally done decorating Amy's room. Her room was light purple. We white crib and owl decorations. I really loved how it turned out. It was by far one of my favorite rooms in the house. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again with all this amazing stuff. I fault water streming down my leg. I thought it was pee but I realized my water broke. I cried out for Nathan and he came running in the room. And carried me to the car. Noah came running behind him. He was probably thinking "what the heck happened". He jumped in the car and got in car seat. Nathan rushed to the hospital. When we got there the put me on the bed and took me the room where I was going give birth. I was kinda hard to believe that 9 months ago we were picking out names for Amy and the nonexistent Theo.

I was pushing out Amy and everything went black. I couldn't see or hear anyone, I couldn't even breath.

Am I dead?

I probably am.

Nathan's POV

After Analy was done pushing the baby she didn't move. Her heart was went from going up and done to going to a straight line. At this moment in time I didn't know if she was dead or still alive. A part of me was thinking and praying to God she was alive. But the doctor told she was gone, I immediately started to cry. I grab Noah into a tight huge.

"Daddy why you crying, Daddies never cry." He asked in worried voice.

"No, I'm afraid mommy is gone." Once I was done with that sentence I cried even more.

"You mean mommy isn't coming back?" He said with tears coming down his face. I nodded. He cried harder and harder. The doctor told us we could have a moment with her and Amy. I carried Amy and cried. I hugged her close to my heart. I never could have thought this was the last day with analy, last moment as a family, last time I will ever get to see my Beautiful wife, the last time my kids with ever get to see her. Most importantly Amy she never got to meet her mom. I couldn't help it but cry. I placed Amy on the bed by Analy's bed. Noah and I gave her kissed on each cheek. This was the last time I will get to see her again, kissed her. It was happy while it lasted. Together we have made two beautiful kids. I won't have traded all the memories I have with her for all the memories in the world.

Have you ever felt like piece of your heart got ripped out. While that is exactly how I felt. I will always love her. And she's in a better place now, in heaven with God. Who will protect her. She will always be by our side in every step of the way.