Everything Changes

Chapter 23: Decisions and painful consequences

                                                                    Ryders P.O.V

      I did my best to avoid Derek and Aria as well. I needed to figure out my next step. Plus, I needed some time to deal with all the other bullshit in my life.

      So I ditched the classes we had together, and I avoided going down the hallways that their lockers resided.

      The Derek situation was something I had no control over. He would have to come around on his own, but we needed to hash out this bad blood between us and just squash it.

      I couldn't fix the past. He was going to have to understand that and we will just have to get over it together. At least I hope that we will.

      As for Aria, the situation was simple. I needed to lie down one important guideline. Kind of like I did with Alison before we started hooking up.

      Aria had to understand under no circumstances could she fall in love with me.

     Now usually I wouldn't even bother with this. I just know she doesn't have anyone else to talk to and I don't want to just ditch her like that.

    Plus, I saw something yesterday that I knew I had to do something about. No matter what, I wasn't going to let history repeat itself.

    Aria was in the backseat with Zack, all cuddled up together from what I could see.

     I didn't stand around long enough to see what happened. I'm not some sort of creep.

     If Zack thought I was going to sit around and let him do the same thing he did before. The bastard had another thing coming to him.

    I hate him with a passion. The only reason I haven't done anything about it is because of her.

    Other than that, I could give a shit. Pigs get what they deserve and he will get what he deserves one way or another.

    All I know is that I will not fail Aria. She's got such a big heart. I can tell that she still has feelings for him and I don't know if she's going to do anything about them or just leave them be after what he did to her.

    It's not that I care if she does or doesn't still like him. I just have to make sure that she doesn't get involved with him in that way. He's a piece of shit and he didn't even deserve the chance he got to hurt her in the first place.

I know I should tell her about my past with Zack but I just wasn't ready for her to look at me differently. What if she hates me? What if she never talks to me again?

I hate to admit this because I haven't spent that much time with her but I have come kind of dependent on our conversations. She's so easy to talk to. Even though I haven't done much talking but I feel like I could almost tell her anything.

That's a dangerous thing for me. To get so close to someone, close enough that I have the chance to hurt them. That's all I do is hurt, people. I don't want to hurt her, no I won't hurt her. I promise that I will never give myself the chance to hurt her.

Aria: Hey, just wanted to see how you were doing. I hope you didn't get sick hanging out with me this weekend...

Ryder: No just had some stuff to take care of today. I will see you tomorrow.

Aria: Okay. See you tomorrow.

I hope that this doesn't end badly for either of us but mostly Aria. I wish I could tell her everything. I wish I could tell her about Winter.