Don't leave me.. {A TsukkiYama FanFic}

he really did say 'suffocate bish' tho- (10)

TW: MENTION OF CUTTING & I DON'T KNOW BUT I THINK IMMA PUT SOMETHING ELSE TOO SO BEWARE

the song said "i cannot breath"

Tsukki-dude POV

i walk up to his door and try it after i knock the way i always do for him. 'dun dun da da dun da' 

"dumbass left the door unlocked" i mumble, half chuckling trying to hide the constant tremble from the similarity with my dream. i open it and walk past the couch and cut a left to Yamas room. then i opened his door. 

'thank god you're okay' i smile and i let some tears escape 'what are you doing to me..' i huff a bit but i am still smiling as i walk up to the side of his bed and sit. i admire him a bit before seeing his legs, they were covered in deep cuts with red edges from stinging and dried blood. my smile fades 'why do you hate yourself so much..'

i get up and walk into his bathroom, which the door to it was on the other side of his bed, where i know i'd find his bandages. I take 4 knowing there's probably more on his arms. 

i pull up his sleeves "dammit yama" i sigh starting to bandage his arms up. i hated seeing him like this

****

once all his cuts were covered i slipped in the covers and cuddled the shorter boy. playing with his hair till i fell into slumber. 

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I sit up quickly gasping for air. i was being hit with a pillow and someone was yelling "TSUKKI GET OUT!" he stops to look back at me. i had been staring, but you can't blame me, i just woke up and everything was so fucking bat-shit crazy and happening so quickly. he looked angry and sad "TSUK-" i snatched his pillow just as he was about to hit me with it "..ki.." 

i throw the pillow on the floor behind me "did you seriously try to kill me" 

"N-no! idontthinkicouldlivewithmyself- i just wanted to wake you up so you could leave." i knew i hurt him and i needed to apologize "No. i'm not leaving until you hear me out. let me make it up to you tomorrow" he was looking away so i grabbed his chin "look at me." he looked as if he was going to cry so i let go but he put his head in my chest and clung on. i hugged him tight not planning on ever letting go "did you mean what you said... y'know when we fought?" i felt him tense up. 

Yama baby ∩﹏∩ 

I woke up in tsukkis arms, i was so flustered 'i cannot even lie at this point'  i was still mad and sad so i ripped myself away. 'awww but his face was so-' not right now. you're mad at him i cover his face to ignore his adorableness. 'Shit he's gonna suffocate' i think as he tries to get up. i remove it and start hitting him with it "TSUKKI GET OUT!" i stare back at him for a second "TSUK- he grogley looks at me as he catches my pillow i was about to throw "ki.." 'shit was that too mean'   he rids of the pillow. "did you seriously try to kill me?"'wow he hates you now'  i look away tears threatening to spill 'god why am i so weak'

"n-no! idontthinkicouldlivewithmyself- i just want you to leave."

"No. i'm not leaving until you hear me out" i glance over at him 'i don't want to cry in front of him.. not again..' suddenly he grabbed my chin and made me look at him. 'he looks so hott- stop your are supposed to be mad >:(' i stare at him feeling as if my tears are about to spill 'weak' 'he'll never love you' tsukki takes his hand away but i still wanted affection and wanted to hide my face. so i buried my face in my sweater he was still wearing.

i hold him tight hinting that i'm sad and i miss him. it had only been a few hours of us being mad at each other but i really did. he hugged me back tight and i thought i was gonna throw up from all the butterflies. "did you mean what you said..." what did he mean? "..when we fought.." oh shit he's talking about when i said.. 'and i love you' holy fuck why now

after a few moments i got up the courage to say "y-yeah lol... i- all b-besties should.." lies

he pulls back from the hug not letting go of my hands "o-oh yeah lol.. i was just so fucking mad at the time because the 'hanging out' two dumb-asses is more like babysitting. and Akaashi had to go to the store and kenma was all like 'i'm not dealing with this today' and sat in the corner to play his game. im taking you somewhere tomorrow too" i giggle at the thought of tsukki being annoyed at them and having to 'babysit' them. "hate is a strong word and i meant the complete opposite. if you want you can come practice with me next time i go there." "well wouldn't they not want me there?" 

my face turns as redder than it already was when i hear what he says next "plus i don't care what they say if i can't bring you i just won't go, they're annoying and you're the only one who keeps me sane." 

"o-oh?"

"so yes. you're coming next week."

"okay!" 

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later that day i lay on my bed staring at the ceiling; Tsukki had left two hours ago. it was now 10. 'we hung out all day but after it all we were still just friends. i didn't like that. was it just a best-friend love? did he think that's what i meant? i mean i did tell him... motherfucker-'

i got my hoodie back (and gave his but its fine because it didn't even smell like him anymore) and it still smelled like Tsu so i just wore that to sleep. 

AHHH ANOTHER 1,000+ WORDS CHAPTER!!! hope you guys liked it!! Sorry it took so long!!

IMPORTANT: quick question; should i do next chapter as when tsukki brings yama to practice (angst) or one more fuff chapter of yama and tsu's day today?