Stand-Ups in New York

Chapter 28 - Judgement

Charlie and Emily got ready for the night's festivities together, Emily at the mirror and Charlie shaving her legs as she sat on the edge of the bath tub. The day had passed so fast, they could barely get everything that had to be done finished. Emily and Charlie drove Jeanie to town for her dress to be pressed, they bought last minute candies for the candy bar that was going to be available at the reception, and the trio joined Jeanie's sister and maid of honor in putting gift baskets in their family's rooms. Before they knew it, the girls had to be back at the venue to prepare for the bachelor/bachelorette party.

Charlotte looked at her sister, putting on a loose blouse and wearing skinny jeans and Converses. Emily always looked effortlessly cool. She was thin but not a rail, and tall enough to model. Her brunette hair air-dried into a beautiful wave and her blue eye shone as she stared in the mirror and put on a light layer of make-up. Charlie was only half-dressed, in her tank top and a pair of sleep shorts. She never put her outfit on until the last possible moment.

Emily went on about a fight that she and Victor had as they drove to the venue, something about how he hadn't thought to pack two nice shirts and now she would have to bring him to buy one tomorrow before the rehearsal dinner. Charlie was going through the motions of the conversation, something she knew she had been doing since Pete had brought up the pregnancy thing that they hadn't had time to resolve yet.

"Char?" Charlie realized that Emily was staring at her in the mirror, that she had put the make up away.

"What's up?" she asked.

Emily turned and sat herself cross-legged on the floor. "What happened with you and Pete?" she asked.

Charlie shrugged. "Nothing," she answered as she looked down at her legs to wipe them. She felt tears bubbling in her eyes but tried to force them back. Her make up was already done, she didn't have time to re-apply it.

"Don't tell me nothing is wrong. You've been a million miles away since I got here. I know something is up."

Charlotte looked at her sister. Emily's blue eyes always pierced right into her soul, it was futile trying to hide anything from her. "What do you think about me and Pete?" she asked.

Emily shook her head. "You already know what I think about you and Pete. You haven't seemed this happy in a really long time and I think that you sound like you're a good match." She paused before adding, "What do you think of you and Pete?"

Charlie put the towel down, rubbed lotion into her leg. "I love being around him, spending time with him, talking to him, working with him--"

"You aren't answering my question, Charlie. What do you think of you and him as a couple?"

Charlotte put the lotion down and looked at Emily. "Up until this afternoon I felt really good about it."

"Okay, and what happened this afternoon?"

Charlie looked back down, a tear rolling down her cheek. She turned her face and rubbed it into her shoulder, hoping Emily didn't realize what she did but knowing that her sister was too perceptive to miss it. "It's probably stupid."

"Yeah, maybe it is, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about it."

Charlotte looked back at her sister. She was younger and married, and her emotional intelligence was leaps and bounds more sophisticated that Charlie could ever be. "Today we were fooling around a little in the bedroom--"

"Ugh, you were fooling around in the bedroom that we're sharing tonight?" Emily asked, her nose wrinkled.

Charlie rolled her eyes.. "It's not like you were in there yet," she said before continuing. "We were kissing and stuff and then he said that hopefully I don't get pregnant by accident like Jeanie."

Charlotte leaned her chin on her knee as Emily looked at her, waiting to hear more. When Charlie didn't continue, Emily said, "So you're mad because he doesn't want you to accidentally get pregnant?"

Charlie shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

Emily nodded and squinted her eyes. "But isn't that the ultimate goal for everyone who is on birth control and stuff, to not have an unplanned pregnancy?"

"It's not that, it's like, why did he even say that?"

Silence sat between the sisters for a moment before Emily said, "I don't think you're upset because of what Pete said. I think this has more to do with Derrick."

Charlotte nodded. "Yeah, I kind of figured that."

Emily put her hand on Charlie's. "You have to let this go sometime, Char. Derrick was a dick. He wasn't ready to be a dad and he hurt you by not telling you that until he was ready to leave. But that's not how everyone is. He is the exception, not the rule. Have you and Pete ever talked about kids?"

Charlotte shook her head. "Not seriously."

"Then don't stress yourself out. He drove here to spend the entire Memorial Day weekend with you at a wedding where the only other person he's going to know is Alec, who won't even be here until tomorrow."

"I know," Charlotte said, standing up and checking her make up in the mirror. She felt Emily continue to stare at her.

"If you know then why are you shutting down on me again?" she asked.

"I'm not shutting down."

"Charlotte--"

"What do you want me to say?" Charlotte felt her voice rising. "I can't help that I'm freaked out. I can't do anything about the fact that I've already fallen in love with someone without knowing if he wants kids or where we would live or any other important details."

"You've been together for a month, Charlie," Emily said. She stood up and put her hands on Charlotte's shoulders. Charlie could feel her breathing becoming more labored. "Stop freaking out, you're going to have a panic attack if you don't calm down."

Charlie felt another tear roll down her cheek. "How the fuck can I calm down, Em? I can't trust my own judgement. What if I'm wrong about Pete, what if I'm going to waste my time with him again just to get my heart broken? I can't do it again, Emily, I know I can't."

Emily let go of her sister and got a tissue. She dabbed her sister's cheek, then handed the tissue to her. She was silent for a moment, then said, "Char, I hate to tell you this, but you'll never know if he's the right guy for you until you take a chance. You said you wanted to go with your gut more, that things didn't feel right with Derrick and you kept going anyway because you didn't want to trust your gut. You know when things are going bad. I know you always say he left you, but that's only because you threw him out. When it's down to the wire, you know when things are right and when they aren't. Stop doing this to yourself. You and Pete have dated for a month. This is the second time you're seeing him in person after being together for one week. You can't possibly know everything about him yet, but use this time to figure things out."

Charlie wiped her cheeks once again and nodded. She hugged her sister. "You always know what to say to make me feel better, Em. I love you."

"I love you, too." Emily's phone went off. She read a message. "Shit, the guys are already here and ready. Stop crying and finish up, I'll go stall."

Charlotte turned back to the mirror, thanking God for waterproof mascara.