Stand-Ups in New York

Chapter 3 - Backstage

Pete couldn't believe what a great couple of days it had been. The Harry Potter sketch was still in, the after party tonight was at his favorite Chinese place, and Colin and Michael agreed to let him do a segment on Update. Knowing that Charlotte was coming lit a fire under his ass, and he had planned a little surprise for the female comedian.

"Excuse me, Mr. Davidson?"

Pete looked at the closed door of his dressing room. "What's up?" he asked, adjusting the wig the costumers had put on him moments earlier. It was way too early to be given his five minutes to set.

Nate the Page stuck his head into the dressing room. "I wanted to let you know your guest is here."

"Oh, send her in!"

Nate nodded and opened the door. Charlotte walked through and thanked the kid, and looked at Pete. She looked so different in regular lighting. The bottom of her blonde hair was curled and her eyes were as blue as a Baldwin brother's. She was in a tight red dress with black tights and short boots, a long open sweater flowing around her. "Wow," Pete said, "Why didn't you wear that for your act?"

Charlotte blushed and pulled the sweater around herself. "I actually never wear anything like this. Alec decided we needed to go shopping for tonight and convinced me to buy it."

"Well, he should take you shopping for everything. You look good."

"You mean you didn't like the Target jean jacket and Old Navy pants?" Charlotte asked through a smirk.

"Have you seen how I dress? You could be wearing a burlap sack and I would still look like a dumpster fire next to you."

"Well you look really good now," Charlotte said, appraising Pete. "The Hogwarts robes and blonde wig are really working for you. What are you, giant Draco Malfoy?"

"You're close. Just older, alcoholic Draco Malfoy."

"With Daniel Radcliffe playing Harry Potter? Nice," Charlotte's eyes fell on Pete's head. "Your wig is kind of off, do you want some help?"

"Uh, yeah, that would be great." Pete sat on his couch and put his head down.

Charlotte stepped towards him and put her index finger under his chin, guiding it slightly up. She was so gentle, and he hadn't realized before she had gotten this close how small her hands were. She moved her hands to the top of his head and adjusted the wig for a moment. She stopped and looked, then smoothed the top. "You probably could do this yourself if you had a mirror in here."

"I don't do mirrors," Pete said, deciding the safest place to keep his eyes was probably on Charlotte's knees. "I don't really love looking at myself."

"I don't think anyone else minds looking at you too much."

Pete smiled, his pale cheeks turning just a little pink. Charlotte stepped away and looked at him again, crossing her arms over her chest. "Perfect," she said. The pair looked at each other for a second before Charlotte's phone went off. She checked it and said, "Alec said the warm-up guy is about to start, so I should get in there. And thank you so much for putting us on this list, the seats are incredible."

"Don't mention it. I'll see you later."

"Can't wait! Break a thousand legs!" Charlotte waved and left the dressing room.

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Pete had to fight the urge to look for Charlotte in the audience as he performed. He tried to listen for her laugh, but he hadn't heard it enough yet to recognize it in the crowd. He had a couple of background characters, and then the costume department got him ready for his Weekend Update appearance. He flagged down Michael, who had just gotten his clip-on tie perfect for the segment. "Hey, man, have you seen Nate?"

"Last time I saw him he was getting Jost more gel," he answered, getting ready to walk away. "Oh, before I go, are you still doing that interview thing tonight?"

"If Nate can find my subject, yeah," Pete said, putting his hand in his hair.

The costumer slapped his hand away. "Don't you dare, I've been fighting that wig hair all night." She said, reaching up to restyle it.

Pete apologized, then looked down the dark hallway. Nate was as tall as him and blonde, you couldn't miss him if you tried. Then he heard someone behind him say, "Excuse me, I was told to come back here?"

He turned around to see that it was Charlotte asking the stage manager, to which the manager responded, "And who the fuck told you that?"

"She's with me," he said quickly, walking towards her. The stage manager nodded and walked away. Charlotte smiled as he approached, though she looked more confused than happy. Pete began guiding her to the costumers. "Hey, I'm glad you found your way back here. This is Monica, and she's going to get you ready for set."

"What?" Charlotte ask, anxiety visibly washing over her.

Monica spun her around and looked at the young woman. "Ah, she's not bad, just a bit more blush and losing the sweater should be okay. She's only gonna be on for about two minutes."

"Be on? Like, on camera?"

"Don't worry," Pete said, grabbing the sweater after an assistant pulled it off of her shoulders. He put it next to his own sweatshirt as Monica aggressively colored the younger girl's cheeks.

"Do you sweat a lot, honey?" Monica asked as she put her make-up brush away and gently moved Charlotte's hair from behind her ears and put the ends over her shoulders.

"I am now," Charlotte answered, fanning her armpits just like she did when she got offstage at the Pit.

"Armpits aren't bad as long as it isn't your face, hun," Monica said, leaving Charlotte and heading to Cecily Strong to make sure her wig was disheveled enough to play Cathy Anne.

"Pete, what am I doing back here?" Charlotte asked, her face flushed.

"You're going to come on Update with me," Pete said, leading her by the small of her back to just offstage from the Weekend Update set.

"I can't do Weekend Update. I'm a teacher, Pete."

"Hopefully not for much longer." Pete took Charlotte by the shoulders and bent to look in her eyes. She started biting her lip. "Listen, you are great. You're too good to be a teacher. I could tell from your set, you don't belong teaching. You need to write and perform."

"That's really nice of you to say, Pete, but I'm happy teaching."

"I know, you're happy teaching and this is all just for fun for you, right?" Pete stared into Charlotte's eyes as the Weekend Update intro began and Jost and Che settled into their swivel chairs. "If you're so happy teaching why did you leave days before your school vacation started so you could do stand-up in a shitty club in New York? I know this is what you want, I can tell."

Charlotte put her hand up to pick at her lips. Pete took her hand in his. She asked, "What am I even supposed to be doing on here?"

"I've got that covered. It's set up like an interview, and all of your answers on the cue cards are things that you said in your set. All you have to do is come out after I say your name. Trust me, this will be great because you wrote it. And if you hate this, I used your stage name. So unless the parents of the kids in your class are avid SNL viewers you'll be fine."

Charlotte sighed. "Okay, let's give it a shot!"