BL14: Damn thoughts

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My name is Alex Mercadejas.. and right now I think I'm in the process of dying. I think I am dying.

You know how they say that when you die you see the faces of people you love? And that the last person you see is the person you love and care for the most. I hate whoever said that. It's not true at all. I don't see anyone, I just feel, light, like I'm floating in mid-air.


I want to correct whoever said that, because right now, I can't ducking remember their faces, Keina, Azi, Sierrah, Charlie, Casandra, and Ashley.. my brothers and sisters, I can't remember what they look like. I I don't understand. They said that when you're dying you'd feel sad but relieved... But I don't, I can't feel anything.


These damn thoughts... I always thought I was a weird kid. But that's true, I always think of things no one normally thinks about, except Keina, she always does that, thinking of theories about the world, universe, parallel universe, black hole and such. Fun times. 


Maybe I should've just turn a blind eye when I came home, for once, maybe I should've just been selfish. I could've left this life this country started a new life, study or travel the world. But no, I had to just find them and now look, I'm about to fcking die.

"You're not dying, yet" I heard a voice. Whose voice? It sounded so familiar, I opened my eyes, di ko maproseso sa isip ko kung paano ako napunta rito


"...a sunflower field..." Bulong ko sa sarili ko


"Childhood dream mo makapunta dito, right Alex?" 


What? Who? Whose voice is it?


I looked around, and napansin ko na ang suot ko ay plain white dress and white shoes


"Hey, you've really grown since I last saw you" narinig ko ang boses ng isang lalaki sa may likod ko, mabilis akong lumingon at may nakita akong lalaki na..


"..dad? No...you look different... Who..?"


"Ah of course, you don't remember who I am, pero you were there when I was... Well... When I died" he smiled, but I couldn't identify whether it was bitter or sad or... If it was a smile of relief


Died... Oh my g..


"KUYA TONY...?!"


"SEE! You still know my name, and of course this'll be the first time you see me" he said coming closer to me, and giving me a hug


"Why the long face?" He asked


"So.. I am dead..ha..ha..haha" I said, finally admitting it to myself, realizing how truly scared I am of dying.


"Like I said, you're not dead yet" he said. I looked at him, confused. Iniisip ko ng iniisip kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin


"Ahhh... You mean my heart is still beating and pumping out blood?, I know, pero it's slowing down" is what I thought

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