the fall | abel tesfaye

chapter eleven - the past

"We should probably head back," I say, standing up from where Abel and I sit. He quickly looks down to the ground, but I swear I see a smirk spreading across his face. He knows that I am trying my best to change the subject. I hate being complimented.

"See if you can beat me to the other side," He challenges, suddenly rising and jumping headfirst back into the lake before us. I gasp, quickly mirroring his actions.

He wins, of course, standing on the edge of the rock on the other side with his arms on his hips, a wide grin plastered on his cheeks. I love seeing him like this; happy and carefree. I wish he would stay this way forever.

"How come you're not this cheerful all the time?" I say, picking up my dry clothes folded neatly on the rock beside Abel, and slinging my bag over my shoulder. I'm still wearing only Abel's t-shirt and my panties; I blush at the thought of having to walk back to the car like this.

Abel shrugs at my question. "I don't do cheerful," he says sarcastically, "I prefer animosity."

I laugh. "Well I don't, and I don't think anyone else does for that matter."

He shoots me a glare and turns away from me. "Don't test me." I can't tell if he's being serious or playing with me, but either way I decide to drop the subject. I follow him back to the car and jump in the front seat again. The seat is warm from the sun and I welcome it against my cold, wet skin.

"You don't know anything about me," Abel finally says, starting the engine. I glance over at him to see him clutching the steering wheel tightly, a stern look on his face. I must have set him off somehow.

"Then tell me," I whisper. "I want to know."

He revs the engine and starts back off onto the road. "You really don't." He says, anger clear in his voice.

I sigh and stare down at my bare thighs. I don't know how to be with this boy. Every little thing sets him off, and I'm not sure what his boundaries are. Yet, I can't help but wonder what he has to hide about his past. It only fuels my curiosity.

I turn my body in the small leather seat to face him. "It's okay, Abel. You can tell me," I say. He looks over at me quickly then back at the road, taking my offer into consideration. Finally, he huffs, and shakes his head.

"I've got a shit past," he says quickly. "I'm not sure you're going to even want to be sitting in that seat if I tell you."

My heart skips a beat and a wash of fear runs over me. What does that mean? I swallow but shake my head.

"That's not true. I'm sure it won't be that bad," I whisper, unsure of myself now.

Abel laughs once without humour. "You don't even know the half of it. Where should I even start."

I bite my lip. "Tell me about your family. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

He huffs. "My family. Fuck them." I gasp at the harsh tone to his voice.

"Why?" I press. He groans and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Do we really have to get into this?"

I stick out my bottom lip and nod my head slowly. "I want to know."

"Fine," he says. "My mom left me and my dad when I was really young. I don't really remember her much, except that her and dad used to fight all the time. And not just any fights, but terrible fights. Glass broken, furniture snapped kind of fighting."

He looks over at me to gauge my expression, but I motion for him to continue.

"I was probably about three when it happened. She just packed her shit and left our home, never coming back. Not a single card for my birthday, not for Christmas; nothing. I didn't have a brother or a sister to tell me what was going on, or to look after me. I had no-one.

"My Grandma used to care for me during the day while my Dad worked, but when she died I couldn't cope. I was 16, and it felt like the world ended. She meant so much to me, and she was gone. That's when it all started."

"What started?" I whisper, feeling sorry for this young boy whose world was torn apart.

"The drinking, the fights, the fucking every random bitch I saw." I winced and he scrunched his nose at me. "Sorry."

"It's fine." I shake my head and he continues.

"I'd be out partying every single weekend, sometimes even during the week. I'd fuck one girl and leave her crying while I fucked her friend in the next room. I'd get into fights with guys who tried to get in my way, or just downright piss me off.

"I couldn't take the pain of losing my grandma. I was high every other day and dropped out in senior year soon after my 17th birthday. I had absolutely nothing going for me. My dad couldn't cope with my shit anymore. He sent me to LA to live with my uncle, but it didn't do much for me. I caused the same trouble here that he almost kicked me out too."

He takes a deep breath and turns onto a winding road.

"That's when he sent me to work at his record company. I was in there doing administration shit for the producers, cleaning the studio and prepping for the artists to record. Hearing them write music and record their songs while I worked really got me thinking, 'You know what, I could do this too'.

"I got my uncle to introduce me to the artists who came in to record, and that's where I learned to sing and write music," he tells me proudly. "It turned my whole life around. I cut the bullshit after that. Mostly."

He shoots me a grin and I can't help but smile back at him.

"Mmm, except for that one time you ruined my favourite book. Yesterday," I tell him flatly. He laughs for real this time, and I can't help but join him.

"I'm sorry about that, you pissed me off big time. I'll get you another copy."

I shake my head. "Don't bother, it's ruined now. That copy was my favourite. Limited edition." I exaggerate the last words so he gets the hint. He shakes his head and continues down the same long road.

"I can't believe you're still reading that shit in college," he tells me smugly. "Isn't that middle school stuff? Romeo and Juliet? Their relationship is so fucked up anyway."

"That is not true! It's a beautiful story, it's just tragic how it ends," I waffle, staring into the distance. "Reading that play has been my favourite thing since I can remember."

Abel chuckles at my remark and we leap into a long conversation about Shakespeare and his other works, laughing over the exaggerated plays. Without realising the time, we suddenly pull up at an unfamiliar place close by to the college. A long driveway concealed by large trees is all that is visible from where we're parked, and I cock my head in confusion.

"Where are we?" I ask, shifting in my seat to get a better look at the house. Three boys abruptly emerge from the driveway, rapping on Abel's window and saying something indecipherable from inside the car.

"Wait here," Abel says sternly. "Whatever you do, do not get out of the car. You hear me?"

"What? Why?" I stammer, confused as to what's happening. I recognise the boys now; the guys from the cafe with Abel yesterday. Fuck. They do not look like they're here to play.

"Just listen," he tells me once before getting out of the car quickly and locking the doors behind him. The sun is setting now and it's hard to see as he disappears into the long driveway with the three other boys.

My head is spinning with confusion as I stare after his shadow, only hoping that he comes back soon unscathed.