Alexander's Disappearance

05

        I didn't look at the articles that day. I'm sure Detective West was aware that the public suspected me, but he didn't seem to be interested in my whereabouts. He knew where I was. I had an alibi that night, and Alexander wasn't on the surveillance footage. I tried my best not to worry about him and wherever he was but it was still tough. I busied myself with work and began to become an extreme workaholic. The staff was kind enough to not bring up Alexander, but they could see on my face that I wasn't letting this go. Alexander didn't die that day, and he was still out there. I couldn't explain why I was hallucinating him, but I did. 

       After hiring two bodyguards, I felt safer. There was a lot of security around me, just in case. It wasn't only due to the press, it was more to protect myself from Alexander. I spoke nothing about his affair. Nothing. If I did, I would be a leading suspect. A young, beautiful wife finds out that her husband has an affair with another young beautiful woman, so the wife kills her husband out of rage. The police can figure things out, and I'll crack under interrogation. No one knows about the affair except for Priya. I trusted her to keep my secret. I wonder if this was the right thing to do, because if it wasn't, then what was? I wasn't planning to rat myself out. I was in survival mode. 

       The morning was a better day. Sunlight seeped through the sheer curtains as I stretched. The warm sun hit my skin, and the birds chirped outside the window. Today was a good day. I just knew it. 

        My phone vibrated on silent. "Hello?" I was still groggy in the morning. I shifted my body to the left and turned to the side. It felt weird sleeping alone, without Alexander's body to balance things out. Now, I missed him. The warmth of his body, the love we made... It was clear that I was sex-deprived. I craved physical touch—perhaps not his, but anyone else I was interested in. For now, I was not interested in anyone. I was too busy worrying about what to do with the situation that landed on my lap. 

        "I saw a few articles." Priya's voice sounded urgent. "What happened?"

        I groaned. This was not what I wanted to hear in the morning. I almost forgot about the reporters bombarding me with questions. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. "They surrounded me after I walked out of the building—accused me of stuff. It's not... important. Not really important. I can handle it for now. I'm just tired of it all already."

         "No, I'm asking you what happened. Did you have anything to do with his disappearance?" she solemnly said, but her tone was more demanding this time.

         I winced at her suspicion. I pulled my upper torso up and leaned against the bed's headboard. It was too early in the morning to be asked this. She knows that I'm not capable of murder. Even I knew that I wasn't capable of murder. When Alexander hit his head on the floor, that was when his life flashed before his eyes.

        Alexander died accidentally. But I couldn't go to the police now, or ever. This was something that happened, and I couldn't go back. 

        "No. I told you this. I believed Alex came back home, but it turns out he didn't." I sucked in my breath. "Maybe... I was hallucinating it. The home security footage showed that he wasn't there. I don't know where the hell he is, Priya, truly. I've been having sleepless nights, I can't think straight, I'm losing my appetite—I'm one breath away from a breakdown. I'm fragile right now."

        I'm paranoid. I have turned into a person who whips their head every time someone blinks their way. I'm keeping what happened bottled up. I wanted to explode. I wanted to spill every single detail to someone. This whole case was confusing me, and I didn't want to deal with this any longer, especially alone. It was eating at my soul. I couldn't bear it. All this time, I kept wondering what is the best thing to do. No angel will fly toward me and save the day so I had to think for myself.