Mai Lab..Tu Dua..

31. ..Dil Ye Sambhal Jaye..

"Hoti Kaha hai Dil se juda Dil ki Aarzu...Jata Kahan hai Shama ko Parwana Chhod Kar..

"Samar so gaya" Sidharth almost mumbles as his heart breaks in pieces looking at her scattered figure clutching her own note in her hand, her face had dried tears, she refused to look up at him staring deeply into floor she was sitting on..he lets out a breath as he moves forward, he leans down holding her wrist, she stands up as light as feather like a lifeless body that shall frail down minute he will leave her, he stares around the room, his eyes go on the straightened photo frame, wedding album lying on floor and scattered dressing table, slightest movement of things was noticeable to him in the room he practically spent his heart and soul in..

"Chal" he said dragging her out of the place which had become too overwhelming for both of them, they stopped in front of Samar's room slightly peeking in, he fainted a smile seeing him sleeping peacefully, and then looked at wrist he held and the shattered self of her who silently was following him, he closed the door quietly as he again walked followed by her screeching quite figure..

He opened the door to the terrace she kept looking at floor as she heard him locking the door behind, when a soft wetty feeling on her skin made her look up and around, and what she saw was enough to bring back a jolt of memories, it looked exactly like that night when the snow poured, the lights shined, the heart thudded against the chest at anticipation of what next moment held in itself, her eyes stinged as she saw the same bed in the corner of the roof, she felt weak in knees as she felt his gaze on her, not having in her to look at him, she broke down, she fell on the floor kneeling on her knees as her soft cries turned into wails..."I don't deserve it" she said between her cries, he felt himself breaking down as the tears he cherished in his eyes, the pain he held in threatened to fall in her arms, he left her wrist kneeling down himself across her, his hands trembled till they finally held her, while she kept mumbling "I don't deserve it" and nodding her head, he run his hands in her hair, weeping his own held up tears as he held her in his embrace while they both cried several years of pain in each other's arms, the undisclosed suffering that was too sacred for their hearts to each other's souls..

"Mai darr gayi thi Sidharth..or darr se zyada thak gyi thi" she said as her wails quitened turning into sobs now..

"It's ok jaan" he said softly rubbing her back..

"Sammy" she said in a soft voice as their hearts sank in their stomach at mere utterance of his name..they both realized how they did not even get to unshed the tears of his death, the ache of losing their first child, an open wound for which they were not even given a shoulder to cry for..they held each other as they sat on floor crying the tears of a part of them that had left a forever void in their tattered selves..

"Tune itne saal kaise smbhala khud ko..akela ho gya tha na tu" she said looking up at him in his arms as she cupped his face wiping his tears, soothing his pain as the love melted in them..

"Tu gayi hi nhi thi..tu mujhm mujse zyada hai, to akela kaise hua m" he said wiping off her tears kissing her forehead lovingly as he picked her up taking her up towards the roof side bed while she clutched his Tshirt tight with her tiny hands, as if holding onto him with all her being..

"Mai bohot akeli ho gayi thi Sidharth, jab yaha se gayi to aisa laga apni rooh se alag ho kar jaa rahi hu,bejaan mehsus ho raha tha, par zaruri tha,meri vjah se Sammy"..she said breaking into tears..

"Nahi meri jaan teri vjah se ho hi nhi skta usko kbhi kuch" he said shushing her holding her closer to him, tucking her in him..

"Muje kuch smjh nhi aa rha tha kha kaise jau, Punjab nhi jaa skti thi media ko pata chl jata, fir muje Samia ka no. dikha maine usse call kia, vo muje ussi vaqt milne aayi,usne muje sambhala Sidharth, muje to pata bhi nahi tha ki mein 1 mahina pregnant hu, usne meri halat dekh kar mera checkup krwaya mera dhyan rakha, muje dalhousie lekar gayi..main to Samar ke hone tak kuch sochne samajhne ki haalat m hi nhi thi, par usne sab akele kia..usne muje sambhala, Samar ko...usne sab kia Sidharth..m darr gyi thi Samar ko dekh kar, muje laga kahi m usse bhi kuch na kar du par jab usne phli baar meri ungli pkdi, jab vo mere hath m aate hi chup ho gaya to maine apne 8 mahine ke simte hue aansu bahaye, maine apne andar ek zindagi mehsus ki jab maine usse uthaya" she sobbed as he listened intently pressing innumerable kisses on her head and temples while his heart ached to know how much she suffered, his heavens thanking for angel Samia was to her, while cursing himself for letting her go, he should have never let her go he realized, he should have held on tighter if she was loosening the other end..and the thought made him clutch her into him tighter..

"Jab tuje maine us din khud se alag kia, maine khud ko tod dia tha Sidharth, maine khud ko maar kar tuje azaad kia tha..or main uss lamhe se agge hi nhi badh paa rahi thi, muje bojh lgne lg gayi thi m khud par, main is ghar main maa ki beti ban kar aayi thi or jb kisi or ne maa ke baare m bataya to muje ajnabi lagi ....m issi ghar mein"

"Jaan Trisha vo maa ki doct" Sidharth said trying to explain her..

"Muje bolne de Sidharth..Muje Trisha se koi shikayat nahi hai Sidharth, usne usne to apne 7 saal chup chap de diye hume, uska udhar to m kabhi nahi chuka sakti, par insaan hu na Sidharth, jalan si hui jab apni jagah kisi or ko khada paya, jab apna farz kisi or ko nibhate dekha " she spoke in a throaty tone burying her face in his chest, while he just sighed as he pulled her chin up..

"Teri is ghar mein ek jagah hi nahi hai, Par ye puri jagah hi teri hai, ye ghar hi tera hai to chahe koi bhi aa jaye ya tu kahi bhi chali jaye usse koi nahi badal skta " he said as he leaned forward kissing her tears away while she closed her eyes feeling shivering touch of his lips against her warm skin, she clutched on his Tshirt tighter as he moved forward kissing her brow bones above her closed eyelids, his lips felt healing as they brushed against her scars..

Her hand moved around his nape as he slid his lips down on her soft skin grasping her cheeks, and kissing his way through her jawline as her breath became heavier with every time his lips felt wet against her skin, she arched her back in his hold as he bit on her neck fanning his breath on it, as he blowed softly on the skin he bit..he moved away as he finally devoured her quivering lips in his yearning ones, his hand pulled on her hair as the one that was soft at first deepened with the desire they were burning in, her hand roamed from his nape to all over his back pulling on his dark tresses, whilst their lips moved in sync ...tongues brushing to heighten the sensuality, he rolled hem of her kurti while his moistened lips travelled across her body working their way into palliating their tribulation of years as they tumbled in sheets, while he buried deep in her..feeling each other's assured presence, and he contemplated her as a part of him more than he had of himself.... she took him as her own melting in his pace, as her lost soul found its body in this passionate euphoria, abandoning all the inhibtions and basking in forlorn intimacy of night..

"I am so lucky that you love me" she said looking up at him as they laid spent up staring at the night sky while he pulled her closer into him wrapping her in him..

"I am so lucky I love you" he said smiling as he leaned down capturing her lips again in a searing kiss..he could feel her smiling in the kiss making him deepen the kiss while she reciprocated with equal passion..

Stay tuned..

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