This Is My Uniform

Gold Silk Scarf

Wu felt his knees shaking as he left the room.

Rushing as fast as he could. Floor stretching, cavernous and hungry before him.

"No, Wu." But it still hurt. It hurt. Everything just... hurt and it was... exhausting. "Wu, c'mon. I just-"

A shudder ripped through the prince as he reached for the door knob. Numb. The words were muted, as though spoken behind glass. Far away. Distant. As far as Mako was concerned, they might as well have been on opposite poles.

Just what? Wu's grip tightened. Just got sick of pretending to tolerate me? Eyes squeezed shut.

"It's fine, Mako." I understand now. Shoulders squared as he strode into his room. As the distance between them grew further.

Door closed. Maybe that's not far enough. The prince sighed, sliding to the floor.

Too cold. Too hot.

Part of him yearned for Mako to burst through that door, bridge that gap. To... want him; his companionship. His presence. Even if-

But Wu knew better now. Had known the whole time. Every exasperated sigh, every roll of the eyes, every disgusted glare. Head fell to his hands.

Still numb.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to lay broken on the ground, screaming and sobbing for the injustices of the world.

But he had privilege. Eyes narrowed. So that meant... A chuckle, vicious and vile, erupted from his chest like it had been ripped out.

What? Wu pulled himself up. I'm not supposed to want help? Need a break? Ask for- He pulled off his coat, thinking.

"Insulting." Lips thinned. "I was insulting?" Hat and scarf shed next.

Shoes.

A trail of clothes rounding the bed so that the only item he ended up putting away were his socks. Abruptly he swung himself around, a herculean effort to crawl into bed. All he wanted was for life to stop. The world to melt away. For everything to be different.

Wu fell to the center of the bed, pulling the blankets up over him. His brothers would have broken the door down.

Silence.

His mother would have made his favorite dumplings and wooed him to emerge as his father made some abrasive jokes that made his mother blush, sister gag, and brothers laugh.

Alone.

Wu curled tighter into himself. His sisters would have flocked to him, making him go to a sauna, shopping day, spa treatments.

"But I'm alone."

And still he couldn't find the strength to cry.

~+~+~+~+~

Suddenly everything was bright and loud and Wu could feel his heart racing, adrenaline pumping as he rocketed up in bed. Until he saw Mako standing there, silhouetted in the harsh light of the day, arms crossed, scowling.

"Wu. It's time to get up."

Wu fell back to the mattress, heart slowly calming. Oh.

Because of course Mako wouldn't come in to make sure he was okay. And of course he wasn't going to - Wu nearly snorted, fighting the tears that threatened to fall, burning his throat and nose as he pulled the blankets back up over his head.