Always Never Mine

Chapter 23

Tylen

It's been two weeks and I still can't get her out of my mind. I feel really guilty for what I did, and Addy won't talk to me. I'm sure she would talk to me if I said something to her, but I'm not going to make the first move. I'll just end up making a fool out of myself.

"Thank you." A familiar voice says.

I turn around, and I see her. With him. I blink a couple times just to make sure that I'm not hallucinating or something. I'm not. She's still there, pouring a pack of sugar into her coffee. I suddenly feel faint. I quickly look away and pull up my hood as if I'm ten years old and hiding from my crush. But I'm not. I'm an 18-year-old man.

I can't help but watch them out of the corner of my eye. They're talking, and laughing, and having fun. When the leave the coffee shop, I stand up and follow.

Picking up my coffee, I grab a seat closer to the window so I can see better. I feel like a spy, sitting here like this and watching them outside.

They're getting on her motorcycle. Addy picks up the pink helmet, and surprisingly, puts it on her own head. She looks surprised by it too. I wonder why she didn't give it to him. I once wore that pink helmet. She said it was to support guys who like pink. It's why she rides a motorcycle. She believes that women can do whatever they want and that they are just as good as men.

Her lips are moving, but I can't make out what she's saying. Then they kiss. Their helmets clunk together, and they break away, laughing.

They try again.

Some days, I find myself wishing that I were him. I won't even say his name, but I wish that I were him. He seems happy, and at peace. I guess he deserves it. He's a good guy, but I could be better. Why am I even thinking this? What kind of idiot sits around all day wishing they were someone else?

"Me." I whisper to myself. The nosy lady sitting next to me is watching me. I ignore her, and force myself to watch them.

They're driving away now. Somewhere fun. Why can't I just be happy, with my one-nighters and my other friends? Why am I hung up on her? Maybe it's the way she laughs. A light, breezy sound that reminds me of happiness. Her laughs are always genuine, never forced. Maybe it's because she has something to be happy about. Once upon a time, I was the one on the receiving end of her laughs. It made me feel good.

Maybe it's the way she believes in things. Magic, happiness, and love. I've never believed in any of those things.

I stand up again before I can dwell on more memories. No amount of memories will ever be like the real thing.

As I'm leaving, someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and John Campbell greets me with a smile. His smiles are real too. He looks happy.

"I saw you watching them. You looked like you were wishing that you were Grayson." My eyes widen in surprise. How would he know that? He continues. "It's okay. I used to feel the same until I met Katie. Maybe you need to meet someone too."

Meet someone? I'm not meeting anyone. And what is he saying? That I like her? I don't. At least, I don't think I do. Relationships with me never end well. Liking someone is no good if you're never going to do anything about it. Which is why I usually wait for them to make the first move.

Maybe I'm just a wimp who's scared of love. I've been in love many times; it's just never been mutual.

Yes, that must be it. I'm just a pathetic coward.

"You have to do something about it before they fall in love. She doesn't love him yet, and you might be able to change that. Just go for it dude. You still have a chance."

What is it with this guy and his dumb advice? I don't need his help. I'll get past this. I'll move on to someone else soon enough. I always do.

"I'm going to see Katie. You're welcome to come if you like."

"You want me to come see your girlfriend with you? I don't think so." I almost laugh. Almost. I haven't laugh in a while, not since her.

"I want you to come back with me so you can save her from a loveless relationship. I don't want her anymore, but I do care about her and I think that you could make her happy. She was sad after whatever happened between you two. She cares that you didn't try to contact her, she told me herself. She's hurt that you didn't try to save what you had, and you need to change that. Do it for her, not for me. You wouldn't be able to tell, but she's hurting right now. She was betrayed, and she thinks that you didn't even have the decency to say sorry. So if you cared about her at all, just come with me." Seriously, this guy sounds like a therapist. What he's saying kind of makes sense, and I don't want her to think that I hate her.

"Okay. Let's go."

I follow John to red truck. Huh. He seems like more of a convertible kind of guy to me. just looking at him, you can tell he has some sort of expensive ride that probably costed ten thousand dollars.

Then he gets on the bright green motorcycle parked next to the red truck.

"This must be Estella." I comment before I realise what I'm saying.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"She told me." I don't feel the need to clarify who she is. He nods in response and gives me a pink helmet.

"She convinced me to get that. I wanted a green one."

I just realised something. I consider this guy one of my best friends. We roomed together my first year, and became friends, yet I know nothing about him. Just like I seem to know nothing about my current roommate, Conner. She's the only one of my so-called best friends that I actually know.

When we get back, I feel oddly nervous.

"Remember dude, you gotta apologise and tell her that you were a wimp and were too scared to say anything. If you don't, she'll just think that you're an asshole. Girls always get all mushy when you admit that you were wrong. I know from experience." Without another word, he pushes open the door.

  She's sitting on the bed with Grayson, she head tilted back in laughter. Curly is there too, and she quickly takes the coffee from John. Everyone is so happy; it just seems sad to disturb their peace. Curly narrows her eyes at me disapprovingly. She had told me never to come back. They're all looking at me now and I can't do it. I just can't. I whip around and leave the room in silence.