Unwanted Love (book 2) [Ian Gallagher Fanfiction]

Chapter Eleven

"What happened?" He demands with a broken voice.
He walks towards me and hugs me caressing my back.
"Look.." I say taking a long breath and looking straight in his eye.
I felt like I was standing in a edge of a mountain, like if I was about to fall down.

I take a step back breaking the eye contact and looking down. "I don't think I want to marry you." I say. All I see is his gaze turning sad and disappointed, like if It was the last thing he imagined.
His lips were trying to move but seem unable to say anything.
A tear wets my chin and I took a step toward him. He moves his hand to stop me and whispers "why?"
I don't really have an answer to that question, besides the fact that I'm in love with someone else.
I feel so bad seeing him that hurt, that I find impossible not to lie. "I think we are good like this. I mean why speed up times when we are happy right now and risk to ruin everything?"
"Eleanor I'm not stupid. Tell me the truth." He says and his tone of voice switches to an irritated version.
"I need some space.. some t-t-time alone." I say facing the floor.
"Are you being serious?" He asks with a severe tone of voice.
"I'm confused right now"
"I don't understand, what's wrong? What happened? Why are you saying that out of nowhere?"
He takes a step forward and touches my hand.
I can feel his hand shaking.
I finally look at him in his eye, he was basically trying not to cry and he looked so vulnerable and weak.
I feel so guilty for having cheated on him, when he loved me since the first time and never stopped. When all I was doing was thinking of Ian.

"I'm sorry. I really am." Tears fall down my face.
"I just.... I realized that I am not ready for a family, for a baby.. for whatever marriage will lead to."
"Okay." He says wiping away the tears.
"What?" I ask.
"Okay. Maybe I tried to speed up times too much. I didn't want to push you. If you are not feeling ready right now, we can wait. I can wait for you." He says shaking my hands and hugging me.

The problem is that I will never be ready..
Because the problem is not the marriage itself, the problem was the person who I was going to spend my life with.
He was giving me the certainty that he loved me, he was giving me the certainty of a successful wealthy life. But yet, it was not enough.

"Let's go to sleep, okay?" He says.
"Yes, I'll go change." I nod.
"I love you." He whispers.
I smile lightly.

~~ next morning ~~

"Good morning." Andrew says leaning me a cup of coffee.
I rub my eyes. Was it all a dream?
I look at him in the eye and can recognise the disappointed sad look which proves me that it was not a dream at all.
"Thanks." I take the cup and start sipping.
"Today is the first day of the project we talked about. Prisoners were already moved in this morning early. My co-workes say that they are not taking it much serious."
Andrew's typical behaviour, when we have some problem he always tries to avoid conversations and just talk about work.
"That's normal, they're not used to it. They'll understand how serious it is."
He nods.
"I guess you can stay at home and take a day off." He states.
"I guess that's a decision that I have to make." I look at him puzzled.
"I know you enough well to suggest what is the best for you." He says.
Before I can say anything I can feel the door slamming and I hear my mom's loud voice.
"Helloo lovebirdss!!"
"Please tell me I'm dreaming." I whisper to him.
My mom walks in my room.
"You're still in bed???" She asks with her arms folded.
"I had the amazing idea to call your mom. Since yesterday you were pretty much down, I figured out maybe you needed to talk to your mom and you were feeling lonely recently." He smiles and gently kisses me on my lips and then walks out.
That was a side of Andrew that I've never seen before. Trying to get my mom home just because so she would convince me to change my mind.
That's manipulative and not fair. A healthy couple would try to figure out their problems and talk.
Well, says the woman who cheats on her boyfriend and had lied to him for years.
"So? Go change? We're going shopping!" She smiles.
"Mom, since it seems I won't go to work, let me sleep. At least." I push the blanket up and try to sleep.
She opens my wardrobe and picks a long black dress. She throws it to me.
"10 minutes to get up. I'll go clean the kitchen meanwhile."
I snort. It doesn't matter how old I get she is always going to annoy the fuck out of me.
I take my phone and something seemed different. I check apps, contacts and background but can't seem to figure out what was wrong.
Andrew! He probably looked into my phone!
He would never do that. I'm just being paranoid.
I dress up and quickly put make up on.

Ian's pov
"I just want to go to the bathroom, the fuck." I say as the policeman won't move.
"I don't care." The policeman looks at me in the eye and gets closer to whisper "just say something asshole and I'm going to ruin your life."
Draco quickly joins me.
"Nix? U ok?" Nix was the abbreviation of my nickname so guards wouldn't find out.
I nod. "Let's go." I whisper to him and walk away.
"He was provoking you, wasn't him?" He asks.
I nod. "I don't care. It's a wonderful day today to let a fucking guard ruin it." I say smiling.
"What day is it?" He asks.
"We are in this fucking mansion. Can't you see?" I say spreading my arms.
"Yea sure just the mansion." He grins.
A guard calls us in the hallway. So we quickly reach it.

I try to look for Eleanor but she was not there. How was it possible that everyone was there except her? Andrew was looking around the room puzzled, with an angry look on his face. Something was going on.
Maybe he found out about us? I hope she is good
Thoughts start circulating in my mind that I can't even focus on what they were saying.

"Ian??" Draco's voice wakes me up from my thoughts.
"Where's your lov- "
"Shut up. She's not here. Which is weird. Hope that asshole didn't find out." I whisper.
"Woo. That would be cool as fuck. Dude, we need to find out."
"How?" I raise my eyebrow.
"Let's call her." He says raising his shirt. He has more than 4 phones hidden under his shirt.
He quickly puts down again the shirt.
"Why not?" I smile shrugging.