Unwanted Love (book 2) [Ian Gallagher Fanfiction]

Chapter Fifteen

Since words couldn't come out from my mouth I decided to try to change my approach and went to offer the most genuine smile I could offer. But his face's expression tensed up at the sight of me unable to speak and he frowns, looking sad yet angry. "You seem you're not interested in saving our story anymore." He said in a gasp.
I looked up as tears were filling my eyes and finally, words came out, "I just am having second thoughts for the way you have been treating me recently and it had me questioning if we're meant to be."
My voice was broken sad and I couldn't look him in the eye as I wouldn't be able to bear his usual reproachful gaze. I felt sorry for having kept part of the truth and at the same time guilty for putting all the weight on him when deep down the majority of the fault was on me.
Tears fell down my face and I covered my forehead with my hands as I laid my face down on the desk.
"Oh..." he said, even though I couldn't see him, from his tone of voice I could feel his miserable state. I refused to open my eyes but I realized that he walked toward me from the noise of his foot's steps on the marble floor.
I sniffed and took a handkerchief from my purse to wipe off the tears.
He was looking at me sitting on the frontal chair in which usually my patients sat, he smiled forcefully.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have imposed to have a baby with you by not using protection and inviting your mother was very tactless and unfair. I don't like who I am when I am mad but I love you so much that the feeling of losing you make me lose my mind."
I blew my nose and was tapping my eyes lightly not to run my mascara much more than I already did by crying.
He laughed probably understanding I didn't have the intention of ruining my mascara having me giggle too.
I swallowed the gasp I had in my throat to say, "I just..." I paused to rephrase since what was coming out was not the right thing to say, "if that is what you want in the future I am not sure I can give it to you. At least not now." I said the most honest thing I could say since I didn't want to have a baby who would be born from the fruit of our complicated story.
He nodded, "maybe we rushed too much. We should slow down a bit and let things find their way to make it work."
I gave a little nod and smiled, being surprised by his patience. He was always saying the right thing and every word he spoke was a step he gave my cold heart.
From the half-opened door, I spat Ian's figure who just arrived and was gazing at me puzzling probably noticing my filled with tears puffy eyes.
I cleared my voice and said enough aloud for him to hear, "I agree. Thanks for understanding. We really should take a break time to think."
Then I whispered, "I have a patient now..." He got up from the chair and gazed at the door meeting Ian's gaze he turned around to me, "good luck with this one." He said, having me fake a smile. He walked toward the door and said to him "treat her good, she's in a vulnerable state." He said looking him upside down like in superiority.
Ian didn't say a word, just gazed at him without blinking emotionless.
Andrew scoffed shooking his head and finally found his way out letting Ian walk in and close the door behind.
His eyes sparkled when he met mine and I wanted to bury myself imagining how awkward I probably looked with my ruined make-up and puffy eyes.
"Sorry about my cond.."
He didn't let me finish my sentence that he said "what has he done now?"
I smiled shaking my head and gesturing him not to worry but he didn't buy it and cocked his head, "you just have to say half a word and I will make him regret the day he was born."
My gaze falls on his lips as a thrill runs down my spine and I had to engage all my rationally not to kiss him.
His being altered was attracting me even more and my body was feeling the urgency of being touched and kissed by him, I never felt that way with anyone else.
"I don't give a shit about staying here forever to beat his ass is worth it." He said shrugging having me remember his attitude of years ago that didn't change a bit.
"Calm down, he apologized and we talked peacefully. we want to the conclusion that we indeed need to take a break." I said.
He looked at me for few seconds to check if I was fine and once he learned that he smiled.
"Good. However, had a chat with Eddy and someone is turning to be the bad bitch I remembered, huh?"
He scoffed having me giggle, "stop it."
He raised an eyebrow, "I wonder if it's me that makes you become a bad girl or if you deep down are and just need a little push."
I rolled my eyes walking toward him and looking at him from the upside. He turned his chair with a kick on the leg of the chair and was looking at me sat lifting his head. He then smirked, probably having bad intentions leading my mind to wander as well and imagine us in a different picture.
I shook my head to drive out that thought and went to fold my arms. Seeing me retained, he grabbed my thighs which happened to be right in front of his chin and pushed me toward him.
He laid his hands on my hips and pushed me down on his knee having me sat astride on his legs.
He brushed the hair from my face and inclined his head looking at me straight in the eyes, in a whisper he said, "isn't it funny how I became a better person when I am with you, to try to change for you. And at the same time to become a bad girl trying to catch up with me?" He paused leaning him and staring down at my lips while his hand went down my back, "Is this what love is? Or are we just an exception to the rule?"